Sep 11, 2015 3 min read

Greetings from North Carolina. By the time you read this I will be on my journey home from my vacation. If you ever want to see a Grumpy Mike, FaceTime me Monday morning (it will be my first day back in the office after a prolonged visit to the beach).

Yes, I used FaceTime as a verb. I’m joining the 21st century, but in all the worst ways.

But I digress, like I do.

One evening, my friends and I went down to the beach late at night to stargaze. Out on the dark beach, I saw more stars than I ever do in Pittsburgh. They have better stars at the Outer Banks. Actually, we have the same stars. They’re just harder to see them because we have more civilization.

I think of myself as fairly knowledgeable of science when I’m with laymen. But my friends Harry and Alex actually know things. It turns out I’m an astronomy nitwit.

At least, I know the difference between astronomy and astrology. Astronomy is the study of celestial objects. Astrology is that blurb in the back of the newspaper that tells you, “You’ll come into money if you get out of your comfort zone.”

I was on a blanket on the beach, looking skyward, discussing nebulas, black holes and pulsars. I learned a nebula is an interstellar cloud of dust, hydrogen, helium and other ionized gases. It’s a lot prettier than it sounds. Of course, discussing gases is never very pretty.

We watched some shooting stars fly by. I thought every bright star I pointed at was the planet Venus. I was wrong about five times and finally gave up.

Since the universe is infinite, there is no real center. Wherever you are, it is the center of the universe. I already knew I was the center of the universe, but it was nice to have scientific proof.

We chatted about life outside our solar system. Cue the “Twilight Zone” music.

Theoretically, it was quite possible someone on another planet billions of miles away was also lying on the beach staring up at the stars, wondering the same exact thing.

Alex had a great theory about why we would probably never be contacted by aliens in our lifetime, but I really couldn’t follow it. It must have something to do with long-distance charges.

It would be an awkward call anyway. Who would even take that call? I don’t know what I would say if I called another planet. What if they did call us and we find out they’re just trying to sell us something, like an asteroid belt to go with our asteroid shoes?

I may have steered the conversation from scientific to silly, but the truth is, it didn’t matter what we said while gazing at the stars. It was amazing to just be with friends talking about life, the universe and everything. I wouldn’t have traded the moment for anything in the world (this world, at least).