Aug 24, 2016 3 min read

Q.I need some advice. I try to be a good father. I’m a lot different than my dad was. Here’s the thing. I want my son to love school. I hated school. I hated everything about it. How can I encourage him so he enjoys learning? He’s only starting kindergarten, but I want to do this right. Thanks.

-Dad who reads your column

Mary Jo’s response: I believe kindergarten/first grade teachers and parents have one primary task – cultivating a child’s love for learning. Parents need to be partners with their child’s teachers. Here are some hints.

1. Be a positive role model for learning: Children learn from what we do more than what we say. Read in front of your son. Read with your son. Make common experiences into learning experiences. Approach learning with joy. You’re your son’s first teacher; he already loves the sound of your voice. Listen to hear him.

2. Facilitate respect for your child’s school: Your attitude about his school and your words send a strong message about education. Are you angry with the school district? Does his teacher annoy you? Share those feelings with an adult you trust, not with your son. Words matter. Stress the positive, articulate the obvious. Say, “I’m so excited about your school. Did you notice how your teacher made the classroom bright and cheerful? I can’t wait to hear everything you learned today.” Get involved with your child’s school.

3. Be proactive: Teach him how to say his teacher’s name correctly. Role play how he can handle common school situations. Prepare him. How will he ask to use the bathroom, what if he can’t find his homework, how does he explain if he doesn’t understand a lesson, how does he make friends, how should he react to new friends? School offers more than academic growth. Socialization is important.

4. Develop routines: Routines for homework, reviewing the day, bedtimes and wake-up responsibilities are important to young children. Try to be upbeat in the morning before school, even if you’re not a morning person. Give your son time to play every day.

5. Ease test anxiety: My mom was a lifelong learner whose library card was her key to the world. She played a “game” with me when I was a child. We would read a book together, talk about the book and then play the game she called “taking a test.” She asked me questions about the book in a caring, lighthearted way. Testing, she said, was a way to help remember what I learned. If I missed a question, she simply told me the answer.

Finally, please relax. How we parent is a choice. You are not your father, and your son is not you. Enjoy him. Celebrate his life and your own. Rejoice in his new knowledge, taking one day at a time. You’ve got this!