Aug 8, 2017 3 min read

A reader wrote to me last week suggesting a column on how to make sense of or cope with events such as the recent flooding in Washington County or the building collapse that trapped one woman and resulted in several residents and businesses losing everything.

Local groups organized fundraisers and ways to assist those affected but reading and hearing about such losses often leaves you wondering what else you can do to help.

My good friend Sherrie Dunlevy recently wrote a book on that exact subject entitled “How Can I Help – Your Go-To Guide for Helping Loved Ones through Life’s Difficulties.” Her community in Wheeling, W.Va., also suffered recent flooding, which prompted her to wonder how she could help.

“Many of us really want to do something, but want to make sure it will help and don’t want to get in the way,” Sherrie told me. “We all can’t get in there and clean up although that is something obviously that can help, but too many people doing that can really get in the way of progress.” One good piece of advice is to suggest things you are willing to do to help rather than the standard, “If there’s anything you need, just let me know.” We’ve all done this – whether saying it to a friend who has lost a loved one or someone recovering from illness.

“I know it’s heartfelt,” added Sherrie “but it’s really useless. They really don’t even know what they want at this time and they don’t have time to stop what they are doing to let you know.” Instead, it can be more helpful to ask if it’s OK to order pizzas or bring food, do a few loads of laundry or drop off some groceries or babysit for a few hours. Sherrie said, “It may jog their memory of what kind of help they could use and you are doing something they genuinely need.”

The book is filled with heartfelt, useful advice on how to help those you love deal with life’s challenges – whether it’s losing a child, which started Sherrie on the journey to writing this book, or coping with anything from terminal illness to addiction to job loss. I used some of the advice recently when a friend’s husband lost his battle with cancer, and I was able to help with a few tasks.

In Wheeling, Sherrie saw a social media post wondering how flood victims there would be able to get kids ready for back to school.

That led her to start collecting school supplies, which led to a donation drive – all because one woman asked how she could help.

That same spirit is at work here in areas hurt by flooding and other tragedies, so don’t be afraid to ask how you can help.

“How Can I Help – Your Go-To Guide for Helping Loved Ones through Life’s Difficulties” is available at www.SherrieDunlevy.com and through amazon.com.

Kristin Emery can be reached at kristinemery1@yahoo.com.