Dec 17, 2018 3 min read

It’s the holiday season, and Santa Claus has a toy for every good girl and good little boy, but … do you? If you’re stuck without an idea for the kiddies, don’t panic! I have a list of hot, new items to stick under your tree.

Here’s a list of my favorite new things:

Is your kid a Potterhead? You know the type. They roll up their paper and turn it into a magic wand. Lego has the perfect gift to keep your bored, little Hufflepuffs entertained. The Danish toy company has a Hogwarts playset. Your kids can build their own magic castle. The Lego Harry Potter Hogwarts Great Hall comes with over 800 pieces!

Just imagine, you will have Lego bricks strewn around your house for the next 10 years! You’ll find bricks and bits everywhere. In 2029, you’ll be stepping on a hard plastic Sorting Hat at midnight. You’ll probably find pieces of the playset long after your child graduates college.

This isn’t the kind of magic castle where you get to pull a rabbit out of your hat, but if you’re lucky, you can pull a magic wand from your baby’s mouth before he swallows it. If you’re not lucky, you may have to pull that magic wand out of the other end.

Maybe your child is musically inclined. Fisher-Price has the Think and Learn Rocktopus. The Rockopus is a cartoony-looking octopus with musical instrument sounds at the end of each tentacle. He has 15 musical instrument sounds, from trumpets to maracas. Rocky has an app so your kids can compose their own songs, music and videos. Imagine the sounds your little Mozart might make as he endlessly presses the same button over and over again. You’ll get to say things like, “Turn that bleeping thing off!” and “I hear steel drums in my sleep now. Every night, I dream I’m trapped on a slow boat to Jamaica, but I never actually get there.”

But wait. There’s more. Your family can have their own unicorn and learn how to care for the magical creature. Meet Poopsie. He’s a unicorn who poops glitter slime! Yes. This is an actual toy. If you feed Poopsie his special unicorn food, he rewards you with glittery slime waste. It’s a sparkly bowel movement.

I am so glad that we live in an age of technological marvels, art, literature and unicorn poop.

If you’re not into unicorns, maybe you’re a fan of dog doo-doo. Hasbro has a game called, “Don’t Step In It.” One kid is blindfolded and walks on a plastic path that has simulated dog droppings along the way. Yes. They do look like dollops of chocolate pudding. If you successfully navigate the path without stepping in it, you win! It’s hours of fun for the whole family. Rover can get in on the action and create more realistic additions to the game.

If I were you, I’d get something that wasn’t on this list. Good luck, and happy holidays!