Mar 3, 2022 3 min read

Q. I made a huge mistake. I broke up with my girlfriend and now I want her back. We were together over a year. What was wrong with me? She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, what do I do? – 17-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: Nothing’s wrong with you. You made a decision you now regret. That makes you human!

Relationships in high school help people work out the kinds of partners they want to have as adults. They’re a way to test our communication and socialization skills. High school relationships help us find our path.

If your relationship was a healthy one, communicate with her. Admit your feelings. Share how much you miss her. If she’s willing, you can start again. If not, forgive yourself. Learn from the experience.

I wanted our peer educators to give me their thoughts, since you are close in age. I think they’re very wise. Good luck.

Peer Educator Response: Try talking to your ex as a friend. See what they say. The worst thing that can happen is rejection. Apologize. Start with friendship and work with that. Don’t lead them on. Be direct. Say you want to be partners again. Say you have feelings for them and then ask if they still want to be friends and work on building up the relationship.

Q. My best friend recently broke up with someone she thought she loved. At first, she was broken and tearful, now she seems angry a lot. I like her, not just as a platonic friend. Is it classless to make a move when she’s upset? Is it too soon? When is the right time? The breakup wasn’t her idea. I’m worried she may associate me with her ex since we all hung out together. I don’t want to miss this opportunity to tell her how I feel, though. – 17-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: There’s no right time for a person to move on after a harsh breakup. If she is your best friend, talking with her should be fairly easy. You’ve already established comfort with each other.

I understand it may be uncomfortable moving from a friend to a relationship, but if you don’t act on your feelings, you will never know if she feels the same. You could be wasting wonderful time together. Falling in love with a friend can be very positive.

Please remember there are no guarantees in love and relationships. You might want to share your anxiety about approaching her. Tell her you value not only her friendship, but something more. Good luck!

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.