Jul 31, 2023 3 min read

Throw another log on the air conditioner and try your hand at our Too Hot to Do Squat Quiz:

1. After being unofficially banished from male wardrobes for several decades, a once-popular item of clothing appears to be making a comeback. What is it?

a) “Elephant bell” jeans

b) Skimpy Speedo-style swimming briefs

c) Jodhpurs

d) Platform shoes

e) Poet blouses (aka pirate shirts)

2. Entrepreneur Elon Musk last week rebranded one of his businesses. Which one is it?

a) Tesla automobiles, now called “TeXla”

b) SpaceX, now called “RocketX”

c) Twitter, now called “X”

d) The Boring Company, now called “XHoles”

e) Neuralink, now called “BrainX”

3. Snack cake manufacturer Hostess in mid-July unveiled a new product created by combining two of its most popular items, Twinkies and Ding Dongs. What is the new confection called?

a) Ding Dongs x Twinkies Mashups

b) TwinkDongs

c) DongKies

d) Rama Lama Ding Dongs

e) DinkieDongs

4) Democratic Rep. Becca Balint of Vermont is considering introducing a resolution to censure Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia. Which of Greene’s actions in the House prompted this move?

a) Greene asked for reparations for her home state, claiming that Col. Harlan Sanders stole the recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken from her great-grandmother. She also asked that the restaurant be renamed “Georgia Fried Clucker.”

b) Greene introduced a bill asking to have Pizza Hut defranchised because it is a front operation run by Jabba the Hutt to “groom” the children of Tatooine.

c) Greene questioned IRS whistleblowers about and showed pornographic photos allegedly found on Hunter Biden’s laptop.

d) Greene suggested that increasing global temperatures are being caused by a huge bonfire started by the Norse god Thor to celebrate the 1,650th birthday of his father, Odin.

e) Greene claimed to be a survivor of the destruction of the planet Krypton and accused President Joe Biden of imprisoning General Zod in the Phantom Zone to prevent him from being the 2024 Republican vice presidential candidate.

5. The U.S. Justice Department has sued Texas and its Republican governor, Greg Abbott, over a plan instituted to stop illegal immigrants from crossing into the U.S. via the Texas-Mexico border. What does this plan involve?

a) Making every citizen of the state a Texas Ranger with the power to arrest suspected illegals.

b) Hiring Sheriff Andy Taylor to come up with a suitable plan because you never see illegals in Mayberry, N.C.

c) Asking Marjorie Taylor Green to persuade the owners of those Jewish Space Lasers to focus them on the Rio Grande, making the river too hot to swim across.

d) Installation of a 1,000-foot chain of orange buoys in the Rio Grande near Eagle Pass to dissuade immigrants from crossing the border there.

e) Throwing dog biscuits into the Rio Grande to lure Cerberus, the three-headed dog that prevents the damned from leaving Hades, to patrol the Texas-Mexico border.