Jul 11, 2014 3 min read

If you’re waiting for showers of success in work, family and marriage to make you happy, try not to wait too long.

The assumption that success or failure is something that happens to us may not be true after all. Desirable outcomes such as a fulfilling marriage, career achievement and higher incomes, and even good health may be more within our control than we think, and this control may begin with our emotions. Rewarding careers, loving marriages, and satisfying relationships with others may be among the things we create for ourselves, at least in part. The creation of these successes may begin simply with our feelings that influence our thoughts and behavior.

In recent years, psychology has begun to look at the effects of positive emotion, rather than focusing only on distress. Research shows that happiness may actually precede success rather than vice versa. While not dismissing external factors, a thorough research review published in 2005 in the Psychological Bulletin by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., Laura King, Ph.D., and Ed Diener, Ph.D. and the Gallop Organization shows that happy people may be more likely to behave in ways that lead to success. Lyubomirsky and colleagues explained that happiness may actually lead people to work toward goals steadily, handle setbacks well, and approach rather than avoid their environment.

Conversely, negative emotions such as depression, anxiety and sadness may lead to difficulty attaining goals along with a tendency to avoid rather than approach the environment. For those who struggle with a preponderance of negative emotion, there may be more than one reason to try to improve mood. Not only may depression, anxiety and sadness be unpleasant, but chronically unhappy people may be less likely to engage in behaviors that may lead to success. Among other behaviors, avoidance, isolation, procrastination may all be roadblocks to success for many who are regularly distressed.

Finding ways to alter one’s feelings and outlook may be easier said than done. Challenging beliefs and assumptions that may cause distress may be one way to shift emotion from the very negative to positive. Trying out new behavior that may be uplifting may also result in a positive shift in mood. Sometimes people are not aware of the beliefs and/or behavior that may be contributing to negative mood states. In these cases, consulting with a professional may be helpful.

It appears that waiting for success to make us happy may not be the best approach after all. Rather, the creation of our own success may begin with happiness, and the characteristics such as confidence, resiliency, and flexibility that relate to being happy.