Aug 6, 2023 3 min read

Dear Annie: My recently retired husband of 43 years has agreed to take a 10-day trip with his sisters. He will be off seeing the Caribbean as I go to work each day back home. He agreed to this trip, and now I find out he will be sharing a bed with his oldest sister, who paid for the trip as a gift to her siblings.

I am not sure how I feel about this, and I am sure he may regret it, too, as she can be quite difficult at times. Am I wrong to be sad by the fact that I am still here, actually paying every bill that we have and working to keep a business afloat? Our neighborhood has also seen a huge uptick in crime, and so I must be home before evening sets in to feel safe here alone.

This is not what I imagined our golden years would be like. Am I wrong to feel excluded and, yes, like a bit of a doormat? — Feeling Like an Old Shoe

Dear Feeling Like an Old Shoe: It is understandable that you feel left out. You and your husband are a unit, and his sister should have taken spouses into consideration. If it was a financial matter, then perhaps she could have invited siblings but everyone pays their own way. As for his sleeping in the same bed with his older sister, that’s highly inappropriate.

Dear Annie: I was raised by a mother whose best parenting skill was neglect. Please let “Concerned Grammy” know that her gentle modeling will give her grandkids more than she can ever imagine.

I modeled my parenting — and my behavior toward others — on my grandmother.

Now I am retiring at age 65 as a registered nurse with a very long and happy career. I give my grandmother all the credit for how I turned out. She is long gone — over 40 years — but she remains in my heart all the time. I quote her often.

Let this lady know she is on the right path by providing an excellent example for her grandchildren, just as my beloved grandmother did for me. — Missing My Granny

Dear Missing My Granny: You are a very wise person; you saw what you didn’t like in your mother’s parenting and instead found a role model in your grandmother for what you wanted. Thanks for sharing.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.