Jun 26, 2013 6 min read

Q. Is it possible to be bullied on Instagram? What in the world is that? My son wants the app, but I’ve heard it can be dangerous. Things are moving too fast! Help!

– Parent of 13-year-old male

Mary Jo’s response: I hear your concerns. As technology changes, new possibilities for bullying occur and technology does indeed change quickly. Our peer educators tell me that too many adults are on Facebook – and kids are moving on to Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram.

Instagram is an online photo-sharing and social networking service that allows its users to take pictures and share them on a variety of other social networking services, such as Facebook or Twitter. The program is a free app for use on tablets like iPads and smartphones. Users can create an account and use it to take and modify pictures. The pictures can be available for anyone in the world to see. Laws state that Instagram account owners be at least 13, but there is no age verification when the app is downloaded.

Yes, bullying can happen on Instagram. I’ve worked with families where 10-year-olds were bullied by other 10-year-olds via Instagram. Embarrassing photos can be posted and distributed on public forums. Viewers can leave hurtful, discriminatory and just plain mean comments on the pictures. Children can be vulnerable because of the geo-location features on Instagram. The pictures can be tagged, and a child’s location can be disclosed. Screenshots of text messages can easily be taken and shared. Bullying via text can then be distributed widely.

I suggest that parents take the following steps to protect their children:

1. Be certain your child is ready for Instagram. Each child is different. Monitor your child’s maturity.

2. Teach your child that any picture can become viral. Do not take a picture that you don’t want everyone to see.

3. Help your child set the privacy settings on Instagram so that photos can only be seen by friends and followers. Avoid public settings.

4. Make certain your children know not to geotag photos and reveal their locations.

5. Show your child how to block users who make rude or bullying comments.

6. Keep communicating with your child. Review accounts and discuss photos and comments. Be an askable parent and teach your child how to use social networking and media safely.

It’s important that adults keep current. As technology changes we must respond to our children’s changing needs for education. Good luck.

Question 2

Thank you for helping me get through a mess that started with a screen shot. Can you please print this in the paper so others don’t make the same mistake I did? I was on Facetime with a guy I’ve been talking with, and he asked to see a picture of me without my shirt. I told him no again and again, and then I laughed and lifted my shirt for a minute. I don’t know why I did it. I know now how dumb that was. My bra was on, and he didn’t see anything he wouldn’t see at a beach, but that’s not the problem. He took a screen shot of me and then sent it to other guys. They posted it and made horrible comments. I know I could have been in much worse trouble. I know friends who have sent naked pics, and then those pics have gone viral. You helped me understand how messed up that can be. Please keep talking to kids. I want you to be here when I have a daughter some day, so you can’t retire.

16-year-old female

Mary Jo’s response:

Thank you so much for your kind words. I have no plans to retire and hope to be blessed to teach your future daughter some day!

I’m also grateful for your generosity in sharing your story. You’re correct, it is very easy to take a screenshot of a picture. A good policy is to remember that any picture can be widely distributed. If you don’t want a picture to go viral, don’t take the picture in the first place.

The temptation to send sexy pictures via media is real and will not simply disappear. Talk with an adult you trust and sort out those feelings. Be smart.

I’m also leery of a newer technology called Snapchat. The concept of Snapchat is simple – pictures, texts and even videos sent using this teen-popular app will self destruct in 10 seconds, just like the old “Mission Impossible” tapes. The app sells the concept that messages and photos sent via Snapchat are safe. But are they? I know teens who sent potentially embarrassing photos via Snapchat and were hurt when the recipients took a picture or screen shot of the photos and posted them. It’s also possible to data-mine the Snapchat content. In other words, any photo placed on social media can be disclosed and distributed.

Remember that friendships and relationships change. I play a game with teens called, What Would You Do? One scenario describes a friend who becomes rich and famous 10 years after high school. The question is raised – if a tabloid offered $5,000 for embarrassing photos of that old friend, would you take the money? Sadly, most of our young people say that they would. Pictures are shared daily, even without financial motivation.

You’re wise to be cautious. Every person makes mistakes – what matters is the way we respond to those errors and learn from them. Thanks again for sharing.