Oct 2, 2013 6 min read

Q.I read your column every week. I never thought I’d need to send you a question, but here I am. My daughter and her husband are separated, and I’ve taken custody of my only grandchild. My granddaughter is 14. I know so very little about social media. I asked her if she was on My Space. You should have seen her face! She’s a respectful girl, but she looked at me like I was riding a horse and buggy. Can you help me figure out the sites she might visit? Can you explain the apps teens like her use? Her mom gave her an iPhone, and she’s always on it. Not at meals. I don’t allow that. I also check her text messages. She’s very sweet. She says she will teach me how to text. I think I’m too old (I’m 72). What do you think?

Grandmother of 14-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: You are definitely not too old to learn to text. I’m proud to be a “one-finger” texter! Let your granddaughter teach you. You’ll be surprised how much she’ll communicate with you. Texting is her generation’s phone call. Give it a try.

I turned to our young people for help with your other question. I’ve been assured that “no one is on MySpace,” so your granddaughter is not alone in her disdain. I think young people move away from a social media site when too many adults get involved.

Before we look at sites, I’d like to share a little research on teens and social media. The Pew Institute and the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University released a study in May 2013 that looked at teen patterns on popular sites. A full 94 percent of teens ages 12 to 17 use Facebook. While focus groups with teens showed a waning interest in Facebook, most teens maintain Facebook social contacts to “keep in touch.” Young people are sharing more private information on Facebook, with increased postings of photos, school names, resident city, email addresses and cellphone numbers (http://pewinternet.org/Reports/2013/Teens-Social-Media-And-Privacy.aspx).

Adults matter. Staying vigilant and providing guidance is important. All social networking sites have both positive and negative aspects. Privacy is a consistent issue. Stay informed.

Let’s look at a few sites/apps (a huge shout-out to the youth who helped me).

• Facebook: Facebook is the world’s most popular social networking site. Users create an individual profile on a Facebook page. Privacy settings allow selection of private or public postings. Facebook “friends” may post messages on a person’s “wall.” Photos can be uploaded, and “statuses” inform friends of life events. Users can also post attachments to their pages. Facebook is free. Parents should teach young people to use caution when posting photos; many employers monitor Facebook accounts. Beware of drama.

• Twitter: In 2012, Twitter came in second place with 26 percent of teen users (up from 12 percent in 2011). Twitter allows users to post brief, 140-character messages – called “Tweets” – and respond to members’ postings. Tweets appear immediately. Many teens follow celebrity tweets. One teachable moment for Twitter involves discussing marketing through celebrity connections.

• Instagram: Placing third in the Pew Institute study, this site claimed 11 percent of teen users. Instagram lets users snap, edit and share photos and 15-second videos. Members can comment on pictures. Cyberbullying has occurred on Instagram; teens should be aware of the need for respect online.

• MySpace: Although holding fourth place, only 7 percent of teens used this site in 2012 (down from 24 percent in 2011). MySpace has been connected with several bullying episodes.

• YouTube: In 2012, 7 percent of teens registered with YouTube (up from 6 percent in 2011). With a YouTube account, members can post and comment on videos. Our peer educators posted their “I’m the Least Drunk” video on YouTube; education is possible, but videos need monitoring.

• Tumblr: Tumblr came in at sixth place and is a marriage between a blog and a Twitter-type account. Users can create and follow short blogs – called “tumblelogs” – that can be public or private. Parent caution – porn is easy to find. Posts can be shared and posted on other people’s pages. Teachable moment: Stress that personal information will be out of the teen’s control once posted.

• Google Plus: Seventh place was held by Google Plus, although our young people didn’t show much interest. Google Plus uses “circles” to limit who sees certain posts. Teens can decide who is in which circle. Parents need to understand this concept – they may be in a “circle” that does not include a teen’s friends and receive different information. Data tracking is common, i.e., the site is linked to Google services like Gmail. Data is used to target ads to the user.

• Snapchat: This messaging app puts a time limit on posted pictures and videos before they disappear. Teens may post funny or embarrassing photos, feeling secure in their fleeting, “risk-free” nature. However, a picture can be captured and distributed if the receiver takes a screenshot. Data is still data. A concern about Snapchat deals with sexting. Teens may feel “safe” sending compromising photos on Snapchat and may be shocked when they are saved and shared.

• Vine: This Twitter-owned social media app allows users to post six-second video clips. The clips may be “looped” and replayed. Many Vine videos are silly; some are thought-provoking. Unfortunately, some Vine videos are not appropriate for young people. Teach your young person about ethics and values. Be open and discuss what they view.

• Kik Messanger: Kik is an app-based alternative to texting. Its popularity is increasing. Although it is free (unlike texting in some data plans), there are many ads. Caution young people to avoid using their real names as usernames. Users are encouraged to invite everyone on their contact lists to the app. Parents should be aware of the possibility of a stranger texting with their teen.

Sites/apps at the bottom of the list are Yahoo, Gmail, Pinterest and Meet Me. Yahoo and Gmail offer free email accounts; teens appear to use email less and less. Pinterest is a photo-sharing site that is more popular with adults than young people. Meet Me was formally MyYearbook. The site allows people to meet and connect online.

I’m certain this information will be dated as soon as it’s published. Talking with your granddaughter is the best way to understand her interests. Be relaxed and empathetic. She’ll share what’s new. Use each new site as an opportunity for education and support.