Oct 30, 2013 5 min read

Q.When can a woman take a pregnancy test and have it work? It’s not for me, honest. It’s for my friend.

14-year-old female

Mary Jo’s Response: If your friend is your age I encourage her to talk with a trusted adult. A parent or other family member is best. If someone in her family isn’t possible, I suggest she consider a school counselor, trusted teacher or coach. If she isn’t able to find an adult to help her sort out her decisions, I’d like to meet with her. Even if she’s not pregnant it sounds as if she’s taking risks that could lead to a pregnancy. I also would like to know if she’s consenting to sex. Her life and her choices matter. Adult activities like sex result in adult responsibilities and having a baby at 14 is challenging. Please share my cellphone number with her.

Most over-the-counter pregnancy tests recommend waiting at least a week after a missed period to take a test.

Do you know how a pregnancy test works? As a review, do you and your friend know what ovulation is? A woman ovulates when she releases an egg. If the egg is fertilized with a man’s sperm and attaches to the wall of the woman’s uterus, her body produces a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin. Pregnancy tests show if hCG is present in a woman’s urine or blood.

Remember that the egg and sperm unite in the fallopian tube. It typically takes about six to 12 days for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterine wall. The act of attachment is called implantation. Once implantation occurs, the levels of hCG rise rapidly, doubling every two to three days.

Over-the-counter pregnancy tests check urine to see if hCG is present and usually require a wait of a week to 10 days (although a few tests can detect hCG earlier – check the individual test instructions). Blood tests are done at a health care provider’s office or clinic and can show hCG earlier than home pregnancy tests. Good luck to you and your friend.

Q.I think my friend is getting into a bad situation. He says he’s in love with this girl who has a baby. My friend is a great guy with a soft heart. He’s only known this girl a few months. I think she may be using him. He won’t listen to me. I’ve been telling him and telling him. He says he’s happy and I should leave him alone. I guess I should do that, huh?

19-year-old male

Mary Jo’s Response: When friends seem to be making poor choices it is natural to want to protect them. You’ve repeatedly expressed your opinion. If your friend is also 19 he is legally an adult. He is capable of making his own choices.

Your friend may be committed and happy with his relationship. He may be interested in parenting the baby. Your decision is a difficult one. Do you continue to remind him of your opinion and risk losing his friendship? Do you keep silent about your concerns, retain his friendship, and potentially watch him make a poor choice?

Ask yourself how you would feel if the situation was reversed. Would you want your friend to respect your choices? Would you want your friend’s support? Ultimately respect is key. Love is challenging to explain and difficult to measure. Please remember your friend’s love for his partner is not your business.

I think you’ve already answered your question. Be strong for your friend no matter his decision. Your job as a friend isn’t to judge him, but to support him.

Q.If a person’s boyfriend has chlamydia does that mean that the girl will get it? My friend thinks she can’t get it, because she feels just fine.

16-year-old female

Mary Jo’s Response: The Centers for Disease Control lists chlamydia as the most frequently reported bacterial sexually transmitted infection in the U.S. Chlamydia is most common among young people. An estimated 1 in 15 sexually involved females aged 14 to 19 has chlamydia. The challenge with this infection deals with its silence; most people who are infected do not show any symptoms. Feeling fine does not mean an individual is not infected.

Chlamydia is spread by having unprotected sex (anal, vaginal, or oral) with someone who is infected. If your friend is having sex with an infected person the bacteria can infect her. Chlamydia can be spread even if a man does not ejaculate.

Chlamydia is easily treated with antibiotics. Without treatment a chlamydia infection can damage a woman’s reproductive organs and cause infertility (the inability to get pregnant).

If your friend is at risk, I recommend a clinic visit to see if she is infected. Adagio Health in Washington offers free STI testing. The phone number is 724-228 7113. If she is infected she needs to tall all her past sexual partners. It is possible to become reinfected with an STI. She needs to evaluate her behavior and the risks she’s taking. I’ll be happy to meet with her.

Diagnosis with an STI can cause shame and lower self-esteem. If infected, your friend remains a person of worth; she should take care of her health, move forward and make healthier choices.