Oct 15, 2014 4 min read

Q.I’m not ready to have sex. I’ve talked with my boyfriend and he agrees. We do like to kiss and make out though. I woke up this morning with a cold sore in my mouth. Could it be herpes? I’ve never had sex and my boyfriend is the only person I’ve kissed.

15-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: When a young person can communicate with a partner about limits and values, I’m very pleased. Keep talking!

Ulcers or sores in the mouth area are not always herpes. In fact, the term “cold sore” is misleading and is often used for any mouth or lip sore. Let’s talk about the kinds of mouth/lip blisters, sores or ulcers that can occur.

• Canker sore: A canker sore is a small, shallow ulcer in the mouth, on the tongue, on the soft palate (the back portion of the roof of the mouth) or inside a person’s cheeks. Canker sores are painful and can make eating or drinking uncomfortable. They are not contagious.

• Cold sore or “fever blisters”: Unlike canker sores, cold sores are caused by the virus herpes simplex type 1 (HSV-1), are groups of painful, fluid-filled blisters and are extremely contagious. Also, cold sores typically appear outside the mouth – usually under the nose, around the lips, or under the chin – while canker sores occur inside the mouth.

It is more likely that the sore you developed in your mouth is a canker sore, but you can’t tell the difference by looking at it. Seeing a health-care provider is a good idea. Not only will a medical visit ease your mind, you can receive information for treatment to ease pain.

If a person is infected with HSV-1, please remember that herpes can be spread even when a sore is not present. Viral shedding means the HSV-1 virus can be spread by asymptomatic (no visible signs of infection) skin-to-skin contact. Typically a person will feel tingling at the site in the 24 hours before a sore appears. Although the virus is most easily transmitted when a sore is present, it is possible to spread it during this 24 hours.

Most people are infected with HSV-1 through nonsexual contact like kissing; many people are infected during childhood. As many as 90 percent of American have been exposed to the virus.

HSV-1 can be spread during oral sex. If HSV-1 occurs on the genitals, it will look and feel no different than herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2). HSV-2 is genital herpes – the type of herpes that is spread sexually. The word genitals simply refers to our reproductive organs or “private parts.”

Q.My boyfriend and me haven’t had sex. Can we give each other an STD or STI?

Mary Jo’s response: Spreading an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or STI (sexually transmitted infection) happens when one person is infected with a bacteria like gonorrhea, syphilis or chlamydia, or a virus like human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), human papillomavirus (HPV) or herpes.

The acronyms STD and STI are often used interchangeably. STI is more accurate, since the bacteria or virus causes a contagious infection.

An STI cannot spontaneously develop. One person must be infected to spread an STI. If you’ve had no sexual contact with anyone, you haven’t been exposed to an STI (although HSV-1 can be spread through non-sexual contact and then transmitted through oral sex). The same is true if your partner has not had sexual contact with anyone.

A conversation about past partners with your boyfriend will help ease your mind about the possibility of STIs. You can also schedule an appointment for STI testing. Adagio Health in Washington (724-228-7113) offers confidential STI counseling and testing. Good luck.

Peer Educator response

Just because you and your boyfriend haven’t had sex doesn’t mean he hasn’t had sex with someone else in the past. Talk about this!