Dec 10, 2015 3 min read

The goal is just the opposite, but these holiday house tours are causing us to feel bad about ourselves.

My town presented its tour last weekend, a worthy event that featured a half-dozen houses all blinged out and twinkly. For about 30 bucks, you are invited to walk through homes you would not normally ever get inside. Maybe the more self-assured of us will see the experience as a sort of living Pinterest board – a way to get some ideas for our own decorating

Not me. I walked away from the tour feeling inadequate, sloppy and totally lacking in creativity and money. Of course, the house we see on a holiday home tour is the shelter version of an airbrushed Victoria Secret model. But even with all the holiday sparkle stripped away, these houses induce envy.

My house was on the tour about 12 years ago. I was younger then, and so were the furniture, the paint and the wooden floors. Some friends still remember our tree and its 200 fresh white tulips and soft twinkle lights. They remember the 30 luminaria lining the front walk. Me, I remember the bills that came in January. My house was a bride that day, as esthetically perfect as it ever was, or ever would be again.

This year’s houses provided a nagging contrast to my own abode. In one, a sleek gas fireplace cast a warm glow from where a kitchen window once was. I longed to have a cup of tea at the cozy table in front of it. Another house had tree branches festooned with twinkle lights hanging from the dining room ceiling. Four of us stood there, looking up, wondering how we might accomplish the same things in our own dining rooms. And how the heck does she clean the cobwebs?

And most impressive were the light fixtures: a chandelier made from dozens of glass milk bottles; copper lanterns peeking out from a row of narrow windows; silver, star-shaped charger plates tucked behind sconces to cast a glow on the room.

First, you stand in awe. Then, you compliment and ask the homeowner where they got them. You gape some more, and then you walk away conjuring ways in which you might fit such a thing in your own house and budget.

There’s a saying about homes – that you never know what’s going on behind the closed doors. After taking a holiday tour, you realize you’ve known nothing about what things look like behind the door, either. What appear to be modest houses are often showcases inside.

“They’re all beautiful, but this makes me feel inadequate,” I said to my friend after we’d finished the tour. I suggested that maybe next time they should offer a tour of houses that are all hoarded up, or that have 25 cats. Isn’t that why we watch those TV shows, to feel better about our own lives? Instead of the best and most festive homes in town, how about a tour of the least?

One of the houses had the most spectacular light fixture I’ve ever seen. It was a gleaming silver cage with dozens of crystal votives nestled inside. Looking up, you think you’re seeing a city skyline at night.

I so have to up my lighting game.

Beth Dolinar can be reached at cootiej@aol.com.