Jun 16, 2015 3 min read

Now that Dick Tracy’s two-way wrist radio has finally become a reality, the age of “wearable technology” is upon us. I like the idea of a watch that can double as a phone and do other helpful things, but it would have to be pretty large for my middle-aged eyes to be able to read it, and then that probably defeats the purpose. I’m not so sure about other wearable devices like the sports bra with a built-in heart monitor. How would you launder that? Google’s eyeglasses with a built-in computer display seem way too nerdy, but I’m certain twentysomething hipsters will camp out overnight to buy them. We’re already seeing accidents because people can’t walk and text at the same time. Imagine trying to check your social media feed with your glasses while crossing the street.

Fitbits and other activity monitors are strapped to my co-workers’ wrists now, and you’d think we’re all training for the Olympics. It’s great fun, and there are challenges to see who can walk the most steps each workweek. Some colleagues have become so obsessed that they walk laps around the building and jog in place during conversations. I was happy to discover that dancing in your seat during a concert counted as “steps,” which was way more fun than actually walking.

I’m eager to see how my Fitbit will calculate ski runs next winter, since I am told it uses arm swinging as a measure. Before I got it, my smartphone app measured walking nine holes of golf as a little over two miles. I walked the same course after getting my Fitbit, and it showed nearly four miles. I later realized the Fitbit is on my wrist and counted every stroke as a step – which in my case adds up to a lot.

The inspiration and motivation these devices give us is terrific, but sometimes putting this technology into human hands might be a mistake. Take, for example, the ski app on my smartphone that measures how many feet of vertical and how many runs you log per day. It also measures speed. This can turn a group of otherwise responsible adults into 10-year-olds racing to log the highest mph. So if you find yourself (theoretically, of course) on an empty stretch of Cupp Run at Snowshoe Resort, do yourself a favor and turn off your phone. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself logging speeds just under those of Bode Miller and Lindsey Vonn and risking catastrophe. If ski patrol is reading this, I don’t have any recollection of what you’re talking about, and I will deny any involvement. I can only hope that any passing snowboarders wearing GoPro cameras did not capture video evidence. Then again, they were probably recording themselves with selfie sticks.

Kristin Emery can be reached at kristinemery1@yahoo.com.