Jun 24, 2015 5 min read

Q.I’m worried because I’m sad sometimes. Not all the time, though. I’ve thought about it. There’s no reason for me to be sad. A lot of my friends have parents who are divorced. My mom and dad are together. They both work but they find time for me. We go on vacation every year and live in a nice house. I take piano lessons because I want to. My family supports me. So why am I sad? Sometimes I just can’t talk myself into happy. This just started. I used to be happy almost all of the time. What’s going on? Thanks for listening to me.

12-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: I’m thrilled you wrote to me and gave permission to use your question in the newspaper. I actually started this column in 2005 because I hoped to reach young people beyond the ones I teach face to face. Your question is very important. You will help other young people.

Being sad isn’t wrong. Have you seen the new movie “Inside Out”? One of the movie’s themes deals with sadness. Sad moments are part of being a person. Feelings are OK. Being happy all the time is incredibly rare.

You sound troubled because your changing emotions are new and confusing. I think they’re typical of people your age. At 12 you’re probably starting puberty. Even if your body isn’t showing physical changes, your emotional life is reacting to the hormones telling you to grow up.

Puberty is an important but sometimes strange time in our lives. Hormones are chemicals produced by our bodies to control puberty. During puberty children grow into adults who can reproduce (make babies). A person’s outside body changes; feelings change as well. Mood swings are common. Mood swings are like a roller coaster of feelings. One moment a person experiencing puberty can be happy, the next minute angry, and then suddenly sad … all in a short time.

Even though I believe your up-and-down feelings of happy/sad are OK, I do think this is a great time to talk with a trusted adult. You describe a great family with parents who care about you. I’m certain they’d love to help you sort out these new feelings. They know you well. Show them this column if you need to start a conversation, or simply share what you told me. They’ll support you.

One more thing: Only you know how your changing feelings affect your day-to-day life. If the sadness you feel is bothersome, if it worries you, or if you find yourself thinking about it a lot, I strongly recommend talking with your parents or another trusted adult immediately. This isn’t a secret you should keep from them.

We are all different. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Finding joy is a huge part of life. Keep busy, keep connected with your parents, and continue to treasure the things that make you happy. Don’t hesitate to connect with me again.

Peer educator response: Every 12-year-old gets mood swings and different emotions because of puberty. We remember being moody or even more sad during puberty. Sometimes being sad has no reason. It doesn’t depend on the condition of your family, your house or anything. We all become sad. There are small ways to help, like focusing on what makes you happy. Keeping in your emotions won’t help. It would also help to talk with your parents or someone you trust. Try keeping a journal. Write down your thoughts. Good luck.

Q.I’m bored. I couldn’t wait for summer but now that it’s here I miss my friends and I’ve got nothing to do.

14-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: Wow! Your comment had a very interesting reaction among our peer educators. I think every person reacted as if they knew exactly how you felt.

School keeps young people busy, even if the activities you engage in aren’t always ones you would choose. Summer break is sudden; you need to fill your days. Each of us is unique … for me, boredom is a choice. I’m seldom bored. Time is a gift. I liked our peer educators’ response to your question a great deal – I will echo their thoughts.

Peer educator response: Boredom actually happens to way more of us than you would think. Try a new hobby or sport. Try making some new friends to hang out with. Join us at the Common Ground Teen Center (53 N. College St., Washington). We’re open from 3 to 7 p.m.every day, even in the summer. You just need to find something you like to do and people to do it with. We can help.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.