Aug 25, 2016 4 min read

After finishing my evening power walk, I logged onto Facebook and read an article that said too much exercise may cause the loss of long-term memory. This came as terrible news because I just completed a sweaty 3 miles and was in my rosy endorphin glow. However, the next evening when I was tired and not in the mood to tie on the sneakers, I thought about that study and, for a moment, decided to pass on the walk.

“Too dangerous,” I told myself.

That’s the problem with all this research. Thousands of researchers of all kinds are doing thousands of studies, unfurling them with a certainty that causes us to change our minds and our habits. And then, a month later, some other researcher steps up with a different study that contradicts it all.

Nothing is for sure any more, not even exercise.

For years, I’ve been reading about how exercise helps to stave off dementia. If I’m remembering those older studies correctly (and keep in mind, I do get a ton of exercise), the more often middle-aged people exercise, the less likely they are to develop dementia. But a new study of rats suggests too much exercise causes so many new brain neurons that they crowd out the old ones, causing the rats (and presumably humans) to lose their old memories.

The contradictory research is giving me whiplash. We are learning many of the things we were always told were good for us are actually quite bad. Let’s see: Milk, yoga, vaccinations, napping, fish, anti-perspirant, carbs, baby powder, sun, three square meals a day. Also, some psychologists are saying that careful parenting is actually not that helpful, and others in the field are saying we mothers should stop teaching our daughters to be nice. That sort of thing is the work of whack-a-doos, and I ignore it. Also, I dismissed a recent study saying those of us with more than five actual friends are doing life all wrong.

So what’s next on the danger list? Puppies?

With the burgeoning research, we’re left to pick and choose what we believe. I was happy to read that babies who learn to crawl in less-than-antiseptically clean houses have stronger immune systems. Also, kale can cause goiters. Hating both kale and the thought of a goiter, I now maintain a kale-free house that I am careful not to clean so often.

Scientific study is opening our world in ways our parents could never have imagined. Did you know doctors now treat some bladder cancers by injecting tuberculosis? And that new studies show laziness can be the sign of deep thinking?

At a Moroccan restaurant recently, the waiter told our party to drink lots of water before the meal “to wake up our livers” but never to drink water after. That goes against a study that said not to drink water with a meal at all, because it interferes with digestion.

So take your pick. There are so many studies we can neither keep them straight nor put them in the correct context. In just the past month, new research has shown the following:

Tequila makes women skinny. Sitting all day causes cancer and so do high heels. Marijuana is good for you. Trampolines are the devil. Oh, and don’t bother flossing.

Is there anything the researchers won’t mess with? Prayers, maybe? Or smiling.

As I write this, I’m on my second cup of coffee. Studies show it’s good for me. Until it isn’t.

Beth Dolinar can be reached at cootiej@aol.com.