Dec 9, 2016 3 min read

It should come as no surprise to many of you, but I’m not ready for Christmas. I just put the Halloween decorations away yesterday.

I know that some of you finished your holiday shopping in September. Everything was wrapped and under the tree by Black Friday. I would have absolutely no holiday spirit if I said, “I hate you people.” Instead, I will just admit being envious of the organized and efficient among you, but, seriously, you guys are putting me at the bottom of the bell curve.

Now, I’m not quite as bad as the guy who buys everything at the gas station at 11:30 Christmas Eve. That’s hard to pull that off. You have to look really excited when you say things like, “Hey! I got you an assortment of air fresheners for your car!” And, “I thought you would like this tiny jar of mayonnaise and some beef jerky!” And/or, “Slushies for everyone!”

Side note: I just learned that there is really a guy named Sheetz. I thought it was a made-up store name. There is a real-life Joe Sheetz. However, there is no Bob AM/PM Market or a Linda 7-Eleven.

But I digress, like I do. I’m having trouble believing that Christmas is around the corner. Remember when we were kids? Thanksgiving to Christmas seemed like an eternity, a vast chasm between one holiday and the next. We needed an advent calendar to count the days away. I’ve been too busy to open the little windows on my advent calendar.

A few nights ago, I went to Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens to see their Winter Flower Show with a group of friends. It was the perfect trip to put me in the Christmas mood. Everything was merry and bright. It was worth going just to see the giant Fraser fir bedecked in lights and tasteful ornaments. They have a terrific toy train running around a track with festive toy buildings, including a mini replica of the Phipps Conservatory with a plant inside; the model only has room for the one plant, whereas the real thing has hundreds, if not thousands. My friends and I walked around enjoying the evening. It’s quite spectacular at night. I ooh-ed and ahh-ed all over the place.

At one point, my friend Chris asked about another mutual friend, and I said, “I just saw him. In August.”

August. My life is flying by. You can’t claim you just saw someone if it was four months ago. Labor Day was not around the corner, but it sure feels like it.

Time is a ski slope, and I’m hitting a downhill slalom, speeding downward in a perpetual panic. I hope I don’t break anything.

I’m looking forward to enjoying the holidays, but if I don’t hurry, I’m going to be reminiscing about them instead.

For the record, you wouldn’t want a jar of mayonnaise from the Sheetz under your tree this year, would you? I’m asking for a friend.