Dec 16, 2016 3 min read

When people mention a television show I’d never seen or a song I had never heard, I used to joke, “I’m Amish.” I always thought it was funny, until someone believed me.

For the record, there are no olive-skinned Amish people. I’m Greek, Italian and Irish. The Greeks and the Italians invented civilization; they would never go backward. The Irish side might. They’re a hearty people who are used to being without amenities. Don’t believe me? Read “Angela’s Ashes.”

This week, I was plunged into darkness. A truck took out the cable on Monday. It couldn’t be fixed until Friday. I was told I was going to go a week without television or internet. Suddenly, I was Robinson Crusoe.

When I was outside shoveling the snow earlier this week, I saw it there, a big snake-like cable in a big, loopy pile. I would have used a sad-face emoji to express myself, but, alas, there was no internet.

It turns out a week without television and internet isn’t so bad. It was like a vacation from reality. I was in a news blackout. I didn’t know what was going on. At work, I did hear that the dad from “Growing Pains” died. All that information out there flowing at us a trillion bytes a second, and Alan Thicke was headline from the water cooler. I’m glad I don’t normally gather my intel from the break room.

I remember watching “Growing Pains,” but I don’t think I could tell you anything about it. I used to get it mixed up with “Family Ties.” The ’80s and early ’90s were kind of a blur. I remember telling someone I had only seen one episode of “A.L.F.” and they looked at me like I was the one from another planet. When I got my first apartment in the early ’90s, I didn’t buy a television set. I went through my whole life never seeing the Fresh Prince, Urkel or that family of dinosaurs. I don’t think I’m missing anything.

But I digress, like I do. I learned a lot by not having access to news, weather and other pertinent data.

It turns out that you feel less cold if you don’t know the actual temperature. I was outside dusting snow off my windshield, and I was feeling fine. Later, when I started the car up and saw the temperature on the dashboard, I got a sudden chill. I may never listen to local weathermen again.

Frankly, broadcast news puts me in a bad mood anyway. It’s easier to digest in the newspaper (hint: subscribe).

It was a good week to be without television. All the primetime shows are in reruns, and I’ve seen “Frosty,” “Charlie Brown” and “It’s A Wonderful Life.” I could probably act out scenes from each in my living room. Not that anyone wants to see me dancing around my living room with a broom and a corncob pipe.

I had Facebook on my phone, so I didn’t miss any new Minion, Grumpy Cat, Willy Wonka or Batman-slapping-Robin memes.

I would encourage all of you to go a week without cable or internet. Just don’t cut the actual cable.