Feb 5, 2016 3 min read

On Feb. 2, 2016, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow. I almost cried.

When I heard the words, “There is no shadow to be cast, an early spring is my forecast,” my eyes moistened, a smile crept across my face. Tears of joy!

For the record, Phil didn’t speak the actual prognostication. The words came from his handler at Gobbler’s Knob. Obviously, a talking, weather-predicting whistlepig would be ridiculous.

Staten Island Chuck agreed with Phil. Both rodents have predicted an early spring. Other lesser-known marmots chimed in, such as General Beau Lee in Georgia and Shubenacadie Sam in Canada. Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

I realize not many groundhogs have degrees in meteorology. There must have not been a written portion of the test. They’d probably chew the pencils.

Around the country, it seems there is a repetition of groundhogs predicting the weather (repetition: the actual collective noun of groundhogs). Almost all of these woodchucks are banking on an early spring, including Chuckles, Jimmy the Groundhog and Balzac Billy. I swear I’m not making this up.

Just to be a contrarian, though, Buckeye Chuck disagreed. He’s an ornery little mammal. Dunkirk Dave sided with Chuck. Was there to be a Groundhog Civil War? If they did start throwing each other around, Buckeye Chuck would be outnumbered. I mean, “How many woodchucks can a woodchuck named Chuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck another woodchuck?” Got that? Good.

Most of the critters predicted an early spring. For the record, I’m throwing in with Phil. I trust that varmint to get me through the winter. It’s been a terrific season so far, unless you’re a skier. It’s definitely not such a great winter for those people who love winter. I know some of you weirdos. It’s cool. For the record, I’ve been loving it. I took a walk in the park last weekend, washed the car and stayed outside as much as I could.

Last Sunday, I had an improv class and I tried to persuade my instructor to take the class outside. Alas, there was nary a guitar or hacky sack in sight.

But I digress, like I do. My takeaway for this unsung holiday is that spring is coming. I suppose it’s inevitable, but it’s great to hear, even from a rodent who is usually afraid of his own shadow.

Side note: Somewhere in America, you know a DJ played Sonny and Cher’s “I’ve Got You, Babe,” at 6 a.m. on both Tuesday and Wednesday this week. I know I would have. I’m sneaky that way.

It’s funny that we hang onto this archaic little custom (a holdover from German settlers from the 18th century). In the old days, the celebrants ate the groundhog. If someone tells me that winter isn’t going to last long this year, I would do my best to not eat them. It’s common courtesy, after all.

In the meantime, I’m crossing my fingers and praying the critter knows his stuff.