Nov 22, 2016 4 min read

If the unstanchable tidal wave of vitriol that has flowed through Facebook for the past 18 months washes away and dumps only one thing into the ocean of forgetfulness, let’s hope it’s social media itself.

“Social media.” Talk about your oxymorons!

Look up “social” in any dictionary and you’ll have your choice of several alternate definitions. The first three I found contain either the words “friendly” or “polite.” Yeah, right. I got yer polite right here!

But definition four, I found to be a warning: “living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation.”

Read those last four words again.

Facebook purportedly broadens community by allowing users to connect with “friends” far and near, but it actually undermines the very fabric of interpersonal, face-to-face communication. Posting is, inherently, an isolated act. Sharing your thoughts with virtual friends while you’re on the john may make you feel one with the world, but let’s hope that this is one of the few things we still do alone. If you’re in a crowd and posting, you’re choosing to isolate yourself even further – you’ve implied that your virtual pals are more important than the meat bags standing next to you.

Even worse, Facebook algorithms tend to show users only news with which they agree. Sure, we apply this type of filter in everyday life by the simple act of choosing to sit across the lunchroom from those who annoy us. But it’s hard to have a broad world view when you don’t look up from a screen, when all you see and hear are stories reinforcing what you already think.

But perhaps worst of all, Facebook and Google propagate false news stories users apparently are too lazy or insulated to corroborate from independent sources. Then those users share the lies. You’ve seen them.

Donald Trump is the love child of Adolph Hitler and Eva Peron! Hillary Clinton was not born, but appeared – fully formed – from a ball of Arkansas swamp gas!

You love memes?

Picture of a sad clown with these words “THAT TIME YOU BELIEVED EVERYTHING YOU SAW ON FACEBOOK.”

Of course, you can’t leave Facebook – you’ll miss the good stuff that somehow trickles through: pictures of your new grandchild; of the family reunion you had to miss. How to roast a turkey using pipe clamps and a welding torch. So people hung on in the hope that threats, moaning, gloating and misinformation would stop on Nov. 9.

They were sadly disappointed. In fact, the reservoir of venom seemed to burst. But there are signs that, at long last, we may have had enough.

National Public Radio asked listeners last week – ironically, via Facebook – “Following the election, have you or someone you know cut back or completely ended social media use? Or are you on the opposite end, relying on social platforms a lot more than before?”

Most who responded via email said they had cut back usage or ceased using Facebook altogether. Many had blocked or unfriended “friends” and family members with whom they found they actually had very little in common. “I’m exhausted!” One respondent wrote. “I can’t stop scrolling.”

Yes, you can.

Facebook can be a nifty tool for staying in touch with far-flung friends and family, but of all the atrocities it committed, none is worse than this: Facebook makes users believe everything they do and think is important enough to be shared. No, it isn’t. The number of Facebook friends you have won’t get you a better seat in heaven. The world was in many ways better before we were able to tweet, post and text 24 hours a day. Go offline, people. Must. Resist. Facebook.

Even if you’re addicted, simply refuse to engage in circular, unwinnable arguments.

But if you must argue, at least be social, remembering full well this undeniable fact:

*Picture of Thomas Jefferson* – YOU CAN’T ARGUE WITH A DRUNK