Oct 14, 2016 3 min read

It’s been a busy fall season. I’ve been lucky enough to attend some glamorous galas, benefits and balls. Galas, benefits and balls. Oh my!

However, I noticed a disturbing trend. Civility, even at these posh events, is on the decline.

Recently, at a black-tie event, some well-dressed couple cut the line and pushed in front of me to get at the hors d’oeuvres. There were like 50 people waiting patiently behind me, but these folks thought they could storm the buffet like it was the Bastille. It was a tremendous effort just to stick a blob of spinach dip on a teeny-tiny paper plate.

What is the urgency to grab some veggies, dip and a couple of crackers? I’m quite convinced people will kill over Buffalo chicken dip.

Line jumpers at a concert benefiting the local library! I usually speak up, but the words failed me. I was aghast.

Riddle me this: Why is it easier to scream expletives at a stranger from behind the wheel of a car than it is to say, “Excuse me, but the line starts back there” to a person’s face?

But I digress, like I do.

The real problem seemed to be the people who were at the buffet table carefully choosing their items to place on their fun-sized plates. You’ve got to pick and go. Also, don’t jam up a line talking about how the harpist was amazing. Yes, she was amazing. Keep it moving, people.

Some people park at the buffet or bar, standing in front of it, chittering away about the obo solo, unaware there’s a veritable swarm of black ties and ball gowns behind them. Be conscientious. Get your sparkling wine or miniature meatball and get out of the way.

I have a few ideas on how to put the fun back into your fundraiser.

Don’t put a buffet table by the door. You don’t want people cramming around the only exit. That’s a rookie mistake. The building could go up in flames. Suddenly your party becomes the next Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire. Too soon?

Instead of one long buffet table, put little food stations throughout the room. Just make sure each table has a noteworthy menu item. You can’t stick the crudité in a corner and hope people will glide over there. No one travels for celery. Make sure you park some crab cakes on the distant tables. Remember, a lot of these women are wearing high heels, but they will sprint for shrimp.

Place the bar and the desserts at the opposite end of the room. People will loop around for spirits and sweets.

If you can afford it, get cater-waiters to walk around with trays. People are a lot more polite if the food is served on a silver tray. No one stuffs calamari into their pockets when it’s delivered. Usually they will take one phyllo-dough-wrapped asparagus and let the cater-waiter go about his/her business. If you get really judgmental cater-waiters, it’s even better. You know the kind that look down their nose at you when you ask for a second olive-tapenade-topped cracker? Yeah, those guys.

Just remember, if you’re going to be ornery at a fundraiser, mail in a contribution and stay home.