Oct 20, 2016 3 min read

Almost daily, while reading what people are up to on Facebook, I find myself with my index finger on the mouse, hovering over the send button. There I will sit, for maybe a half a minute or longer, deciding whether or not to complete and send what I’d posted.

Usually, I delete.

I decide it’s not worth it; I don’t want to come across as a snob or a bully. So, what is this topic that is causing me so much conflict and indecision? Am I deciding whether or not to post something snarky about our presidential candidates?

No, I am resisting the temptation to correct someone’s grammar.

People like me are called the Grammar Police or the Grammar Nazis, and although our intentions are good, we are generally reviled on social media. Their point is, what’s the big deal if someone doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re, or their and there and they’re? As the argument goes, when the word is in the context of a sentence, the reader can figure out what the writer was trying to say.

Here is a typical exchange one might read on social media:

Facebook Friend One: People should be aloud to speak they’re opinions on hear and not be attacked.

Facebook Friend Two: A political party and it’s voters have to stand up for whats right and don’t have to except what other’s are saying if it’s not true.

Facebook Friend One again: You stink!

That last sentence is my favorite because it has no grammar errors, although I generally believe the exclamation point is overused.

The discourse on social media is pretty inane. It’s irritating enough to see a posted photo of a beer someone is drinking without then having to gag your way through the post that reads At the ballpark with Fred. They’re beer is the best!!

So what is a Grammar Policewoman to do? Mostly I try to ignore the mistakes, but the irritants assault me like obnoxious muffler sounds or bad smells.

I bring this up because I’ve been made aware that I, too, make grammar mistakes. While listening to National Public Radio this week, I heard the host say the following:

Far be it from me to suggest that …

Did he say from me? Isn’t it for me?

As soon as I got home, I Googled. And there it was. Far be it from me. I’d been saying and writing it incorrectly my whole life, like walking around with a piece of spinach in my front teeth for 40 years. I tried to remember all the columns in which I might have used that phrase and had it wrong. It makes me shudder.

Newly chastened, I am vowing to keep my hand off the mouse.

Far be it from me to point out a friend’s misuse of an apostrophe when I butcher my idioms. It makes me wonder what else I’ve had wrong all these years.

Or year’s, as some would say. Sorry, I can’t help it.

Beth Dolinar can be reached at cootiej@aol.com.