Sep 13, 2016 3 min read

In 1972, Arthur Fletcher, then-head of the United Negro College Fund, invented the slogan, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” His lofty goal was to publicize the fund and encourage donations. Not long after, an unknown author substantially lowered his sights with this transpositional pun: “A waist is a terrible thing to mind.”

Now enterprising entrepreneurs have managed to provide an excellent example of the former slogan while also reminding us of the latter. Meet the Welt (short for Wellness Belt) – a “smart belt” that uses an electronic sensor in its buckle to warn wearers that they may have overeaten.

As useless gadgets go, this has to be near the top of the very long list that includes a fork that tells you if you’re overeating and a refrigerator that tells you if you’re low on milk and eggs. Then again, I’ve seen recent advertisements for a newfangled washing machine that lets you add items after the wash cycle has started. Sorry, but the wringer washer my mom used in the 1950s already had this feature. She called it “lifting the lid.”

Call me old-fashioned, but I’m of the camp that says that you shouldn’t need an electronic waist-minder. If your belt is tight, you’ve probably gained weight. Or used the wrong hole. But maybe your belly sticks out so far that you can’t see your belt to determine if you’ve used the wrong hole. Then the Welt may be for you. If so, you can join the nearly 700 backers who have helped the Welt Corporation raise more than double its stated goal of $30,000 through a Kickstarter campaign. Let’s call them “knoshbucklers.”

The Welt is available in several models, from “Casual” ($99 pledge for one Welt) through the “Classic Mega Package” ($9,900 for 80 Classic Welts). That’s a lot of money just to hold up yer britches, especially when less than $20 will buy you 50 feet of rope – enough for even the largest of wardrobes, although I’ll admit that you would have to dye it black for formal occasions. But the Welt offers much more than your standard hunk o’ rope.

Primarily, the Welt comes with a smartphone app that tracks not only changes in the wearer’s waist size over time but also the number of steps taken and the amount of time spent sitting daily. It tracks caloric intake over a set period to indicate if you’ve overeaten. Parameters can be personalized, and accumulated data can then be evaluated by the Welt wearer – preferably not over a big dinner.

One small problem for would-be Welters: Welt can sense waist sizes from 28 to 44 inches. But according to a Centers for Disease Control study published in 2014, 43 percent of American males had waists bigger than 40.2 inches. So many who really need this won’t be able to wear it. Sort of like the weight limits on exercise equipment.

The Welt’s data-gathering ability is made possible by a battery that can be recharged via a USB connection. As a public service, I must point out that the Welt was developed in conjunction with Samsung, whose Galaxy 7 smartphones have been, um, exploding.

Hot pants, indeed!