Aug 14, 2017 3 min read

As I prepare to send my oldest daughter back to college and I equip my middle child for her first year of vocational training, I can’t help but reminisce about when they were little. Once upon a time, they were small enough to fit entirely in one of my arms and in a bassinet only slightly larger than a bushel basket. They cuddled and cooed, they giggled and laughed, and faster than the blink of any eye, they grew. I thought I could see heaven on those days.

But I remember the bad days, too. The days I ran in what felt like circles, achieving nothing more than getting dizzy.

The days that they cried incessantly over anything ranging from not wanting to eat cauliflower to being too tired to go to sleep. The times that I removed their car seat in search of the not-so-pleasant smell coming from the back seat and discovered a forgotten sippy cup full of spoiled milk and at least a half a box of mashed up Cheerios. I thought the world was ending on those days.

If I’m being honest here, a lot of the same things remain true. There are times when they argue with me – or one another – over whose turn it is to load the dishwasher, or to run the vacuum. They turn up their nose at what I’ve made for dinner and leave dirty socks on the couch or the living room floor.

They still leave the lights on when they leave a room, and they still tend to drop their wet towels on the bathroom floor.

And there was even a smell coming from the car the other day. When I tracked it down, I discovered someone had left a couple of chicken nuggets in a box on the floor of the back seat. Tucked into the pocket in the door was a partially consumed soda. I think I was just as upset as I was all those years ago, now because they should know better.

Still, there are days when my kids cuddle up with me on the couch, or make me laugh until I cry.

There are days when they are so thoughtful that I think we’ve done an excellent job raising them. There are times when they help others, or are kind to a stranger, and I can see their heart growing in faith.

That tells me that I’m not seeing heaven one day and the world ending the next. It’s all just part of the ebb and flow of maturing.

These may be adults in body, but their minds and hearts and emotions are still forming. I know this is true for them because it’s still true for me.

If I’ve done my job correctly, new ideas, experiences and opportunities will continue to help shape them for years to come. If I’ve done my job well, they will remember where they came from with pride, and work toward becoming the best version of themselves that they can be.

I hope I’m there to see it all become reality. I’m excited to see their lives change and take shape. I will remind them of their successes and failures as they need to hear them, and I hope they will take it to heart.

Is it wrong if I also hope that they find something stinky in their car one day?

Laura Zoeller can be reached at zoeller5@verizon.net.