Feb 5, 2017 3 min read

Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when from out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats of … hobbyhorses?

It’s true. Their American counterparts may be busy texting and making duck lips for selfies, but European teenage girls are bucking the trend by riding hobbyhorses – basically, broomsticks with stuffed plush horseheads attached to one end.

News of this gallop pole comes from the website OZY.com. According to a feature story dated Jan. 24, as many as 10,000 Finnish girls – most of them teenagers – pass their leisure time by riding hobbyhorses. But they’re not just hopping around astride a broomstick after school. They’re riding competitively.

Whoa!

In Finland, and to a lesser extent in Sweden, Germany and France, girls are champing at the bit to attend hobbyhorsing festivals. There, OZY.com reports, “dozens of girls (ride) in formation, or individually in formal competitions, show jumping and performing dressage while holding on to that venerable stick-and-stuffed-toy combination.” Instagram is awash with pictures of girls in competition, and Oscar-nominated director Selma Vilhunen was so taken by hobbyhorsers she made a documentary, “Hobbyhorse Revolution,” about them.

Participants take things seriously. Girls make, buy and sell hobbyhorses at festivals. Younger girls may “feed” and groom their hobbyhorses, while older girls might give them pet names and a lineage (“Star’s father was a champion pushbroom!”).

On one hand, I suppose it’s refreshing that in the 21st century, kids still can use their imaginations rather than play one of the 180 “virtual horse” games that pop up in Google. On the other, I have an image of a 15-year-old Finnish girl being held at the ER while her parents argue that flying spurs-over-teakettle from a hobbyhorse should be covered under the country’s Primary Care Act.

And it must be embarrassing to be forced to pull out of a hobbyhorse competition because Old Paint came down with termites.

However, after some thought I’ve decided I can’t say nay to these neighsayers.

Hobbyhorsers report they are often bullied for their activities. But, really, are they any weirder than Civil War re-enacters? Or than those who don chain mail and armor at Renaissance festivals? Or than those who build fairy sanctuaries in their gardens? And would you rather have your teenage daughter break an ankle by falling off her 4-inch heels at the mall or by throwing a shoe putting her stick steed through its paces?

Also, I remember how I used to wear cowboy boots and a 10-gallon hat, strap on my Hopalong Cassidy pearl-handled six-shooters and gallop around the neighborhood hot on the trail of cattle rustlers. What a great time I had!

So I decided to hit the trail again. I had assembled an entire stable of hobbyhorses until my neighbors complained about missing brooms and multiple piles of sawdust in my backyard. Probably all for the best.

I’m getting older, and I don’t want to call 911 to say, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t giddyup!”