Feb 6, 2017 3 min read

If I were to place a steaming-hot plate of roast beef and mashed potatoes on the table in front of you, what would you do? How about if I gave you a piping hot bowl of chili? A cup of coffee?

I want to be clear that this hypothetical food is visibly steaming when I set it before you.

Would you blow on your food – or at least give it a few minutes to cool – before forking it into your mouth?

I know it is what I do. I am even certain that I taught my children this method of preserving the skin of the inside of the mouth sans blisters.

It doesn’t seem to have stuck, though.

Every one of them immediately dives into the dish before them, pushing a hot spoon or forkful into their mouths. Then, they instantly exhale over the food, while saying, “hot.” Often, tears will spring into their eyes from the burning sensation, but it has failed thus far to be a deterrent to the behavior.

They learned it from their father, I think.

I’ve seen him do it from time to time, as well, and it drives me crazy. I mean, he’s an intelligent man. Why does he not understand that he’ll be burned?

He says he knows, but he can’t help himself due to the fact that I put such delicious looking and smelling food in front of him, and that it makes it hard for him to wait.

See how he turned that into a compliment for me?

So the other night, we’re eating dinner, a recipe my mom used to make that she called “Irish Pot Pie.” It’s ham, picked off the bone and cooked with cubed potatoes and then thickened with homemade noodles. It’s a family favorite, and it’s served boiling hot.

One by one, each member of my family attempted – and failed – to eat their first bite.

One by one, each mouthful of scorching stew came back out onto spoons and into bowls, and in near-unison came their chorus of “hot, hot, hot.”

I sat there with my head in my hands, thinking as I do sometimes, that this cannot be my life, when one of my cats came strolling into the room.

This cat, Simon, is an unparalleled beggar, and is seen at least once per meal reaching a paw over the tabletop to see if there are tidbits close enough for him to pull down to eat.

He is often rewarded with a morsel from someone’s plate (usually the husband’s). This night was no different. Someone dug out a few shreds of ham from their bowl and tossed it down to the cat. He immediately ran over, licked it and then scarfed it into his mouth.

I am not kidding when I say that he coughed it back out, and what sounded like the word “hot” came out of his mouth directly following.

Even I couldn’t help but laugh.

Laura Zoeller can be reached at zoeller5@verizon.net.