Feb 15, 2017 3 min read

Q.I enjoy your column. I’m curious about the peer educators. Do they ever feel peer pressure because they speak out about doing the right thing? I wonder how other teens reacted to their comments about last week’s column. I’m thinking giving advice to tell an adult that another teen is getting high wouldn’t be very popular. Where do they find courage?

Grandparent who admires these teens

Mary Jo’s response: Thank you for reading and writing to me.

If you knew these young people, you would easily note their integrity and courage. Our Teen Center is called Common Ground for a reason. I hire teens to run and supervise the center. They open and close, they clean up after meetings, they make their own schedule; the center is theirs. I model respect for all, and set a high standard. They achieve that standard and more.

Attendees at our center sign a contract. It is witnessed by a peer. We have an Adolescent Executive Board of 15 outstanding young people. If a contract is violated, these ethical teens decide if a consequence is merited. A temporary suspension from the center may result. These teens are diverse in ability, gender and gender identity, ethnicity, race, sexuality and socioeconomic status. They come from different, often competing, high schools, yet they all demonstrate acceptance and respect. We discuss important topics like consent, depression and fitting in. The peer educators select and facilitate discussions. They set guidelines for behavior.

You ask where they find courage. I believe these teens dig deep to find true integrity. A quote attributed to C.S. Lewis reads: “Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.” Their courage is needed daily; they make brave choices every day. Adolescence isn’t easy, yet they find time to be other-directed and live with empathy.

I admire these young people. I learn as much from them as they learn from me. I’m grateful you acknowledge their goodness. Thanks again.

Peer Educator response: Our advice comes not from courage, but from making our own mistakes and wanting to help others not make the same mistake. Our courage comes from our similarities and respect for one another. Within our group, we tend to have a consensus with each other. We take outside knowledge and our own beliefs and put them into words. Those words become our teachings. It wouldn’t be as easy if someone was constantly telling us we were wrong. Right or wrong, our opinions still stand. It’s more of an intelligence thing than a courageous thing – we put away our differences and figure out what is the proper thing to do. Telling an adult about another teen smoking isn’t always the first thing a teen thinks of, but we have learned it is the right thing to do. We try to do the right thing.

Contact Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski with questions at podmj@healthyteens.com.