Jan 4, 2017 3 min read

Q.How do you talk with your family about your mental health?

17-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: Family matters. Support from your family could ease your stress. I’m glad you want to share your feelings.

Our culture often stigmatizes mental-health issues. Well-intentioned people who would never ignore a physical illness may minimize the need for mental-health therapy or counseling. I’ve never heard a parent tell a teen suffering from a fractured limb to “shake it off” or “get it together,” but such admonitions are common when a teen deals with depression. A mental-health assessment and mental-health treatment can make a huge difference in your life.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Don’t assume. You may fear your family’s reaction without cause. Give your family a chance.

2. Broaden your definition of family. Consider your most supportive family member; your grandparents, aunts or uncles may be the first people with whom you speak. Select a person you trust. Whomever you approach first can help mediate other conversations.

3. Plan your conversation. Think of your words in advance. Select a private time when people are calm.

4. Set a warm tone. Explain why this family member matters to you. Share your vulnerability and ask for support.

5. Be honest. Open discussions are important. If you feel anxious all the time, tell the truth. Mental-health challenges can frighten family members; stress your desire to feel better and be healthy.

6. Reassure. Many parents blame themselves if their young person is depressed or anxious. Your mental health matters; you matter.

7. Be persistent. If your family does not support you, seek help elsewhere. Consider talking with a school counselor, a trusted teacher, a faith leader or a coach. Trusted adults are in your life – look for them.

While I recommend seeking support from your family, you are old enough to seek treatment on your own. The age of consent for mental-health examination and treatment in Pennsylvania is 14; a young person 14 to 18 can obtain treatment without parental consent.

Please stay in touch. Washington County Behavioral Health and Developmental Services (BHDS) provides a 24-hour emergency mental-health service, the Emergency and Crisis Services Crisis Line, at 1-877-225-3567. You’re not alone. Good luck.

Peer Educator response: If you’re frightened, you need to prepare. Build yourself up mentally first. Start with the closest person in your family. We hope you have someone in your family who will be understanding. It can be hard for a family to accept a diagnosis of depression or anxiety. Be ready for questions like, “Why do you feel this way?” It’s a relief to talk to your family so you can get the help you need. A few of us have experience with this. It does help a lot to be open with your family. Take baby steps and take care of yourself. Best of luck.