Jul 11, 2017 3 min read

Five years ago, I was in amazing shape. I’m not talking about my jean size or my weight; I’m talking about my health and ability to move. I was running five miles at least five days a week, and though I was winded when finished, I wasn’t preparing my coffin or even fearing I couldn’t move the next day.

I maintained it for over a year.

But when my mom died, I traded my running shoes for “Law and Order” marathons and spent months lying on the couch doing very little. I didn’t notice I was losing my spark, and if I had, I probably wouldn’t have cared. It took all of my energy to feed the kids and do the laundry. I was deeply depressed.

That long, dark hole I slid into has consumed me for the past few years.

One day recently, I drove past a gym whose sign caught my eye. It read, “Exercise is the most underutilized anti-depressant.” I liked that concept. So, before I had time to change my mind, I drove into their lot and walked inside. And, before I could talk myself out of it, I signed up for a one-month trial. Easy peasy, I thought. It’s smooth sailing from here.

But nothing goes quite as smoothly as planned when I’m involved, does it?

Day one, I ran and lifted some weights. When I went to the locker room to shower, I realized I had forgotten to pack shampoo. One of the showers had some, so I figured I’d borrow a squeeze. Only after I had applied it to my hair did I realize that it was body wash and not shampoo. (Note: This does not rinse well from hair, and I do not recommend it as a substitute.)

I leaned over to read the bottle in a desperate hope that there was an instruction for getting it out of hair, and when I stood back up, I cracked my head off the railing. It was enough to see stars, so I finished up as best I could and called it a day.

Day two, I remembered shampoo but forgot clean socks, so I had to put my sweaty ones back on after the shower. Yuck.

Day three, I caught my hand in my headphone cord while running on the treadmill. My phone jerked free of the ledge where it had been resting, pulled free of the earbuds, and landed with a clunk on the belt before zipping halfway across the room. Another runner was kind enough to hand it back to me when he finished.

Day five, I had to ask for help in working an ab machine. The gym attendant looked at me a little funny, but I pointed at my middle and asked if it appeared that I had much experience working on my core. He nodded slightly before silently moving to demonstrate the machine for me.

It has been an interesting first week, I can say that. I’ll give it the whole month before making an assessment on whether or not it’s working.

Here’s hoping I have it a little better figured out by then.

Laura Zoeller can be reached at zoeller5@verizon.net.