Sep 5, 2017 3 min read

As you are reading this in your morning O-R, I imagine many of you are enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee and some breakfast. As I am writing this, I am enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee and no solid food for the day. No, I’m not trying one of those quick weight-loss cleanses that I hear friends try every so often. I have to think that if those really work, everyone would be swearing off solid food and walking around looking like Giselle Bundchen and her rail-thin supermodel colleagues.

The idea of me going without food for 24 hours is outright lunacy, and the reason behind doing this cleanse gave me an even better excuse to put off the whole thing as long as I could. Yes, you guessed it: I recently hit that magical milestone age when your doctor says you should have your first routine colonoscopy. I knew it was coming before he uttered that phrase. I had dealt with hitting the half-century mark pretty well overall, because I still think in my mind that I’m 25-years-old and always will be. My body just isn’t cooperating with what my mind knows is my real age. I remember watching the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes do their famous kick line in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV one year and my mom saying, “Boy, I wish I could still kick my leg up like that!” I was a bit perplexed because I thought, well, I can kick my legs up like that. I couldn’t imagine what she meant. After a few more decades of skiing and a monumentally stupid sprained ankle injury, I know exactly what mom meant. I watch little kids bound up steps two at a time and think, “Boy, I wish I could still do that!” I still could do that, but it might result in my winding up facedown or with swollen knees the next day.

To add insult to injury (to my pride), I’ve been suffering from episodes of insomnia in recent years, which have recently become more and more frequent. I chalked them up to stress and travel but realized the horrible truth when the insomnia brought along its awful buddy, the night sweats, a few weeks ago. Now, I am also overcome by hot flashes at any given moment during the day, which make me feel nauseous and ready to erupt like a volcano.

My doctor did blood work to check hormone levels, and when the nurse called and told me, “Congratulations, you’re officially in menopausal range,” we both broke out into laughter. I’m not sure which will be more difficult: getting through the day with no food or having to skip my dose of estrogen tomorrow morning. I do know for certain though that while I will eventually grow old, I will never grow up. After all, I’m still 25.

Kristin Emery can be reached at kristinemery1@yahoo.com.