Apr 26, 2018 4 min read

Q.I graduate in four weeks. There were times in high school when I couldn’t wait for it to be over. There were days when I thought, “I can’t stand to be with these people one more minute!” Now, my plans for next year are set, I’ve selected my college, and I’m counting down the days. It sounds cliché, but I realize I’m going to miss this place and the people in it, even the teachers. I’d like to tell eighth-graders entering high school next year not to be so stressed, but I don’t know if they’d listen. I feel as if I spent way too much time being anxious. Do you have any advice for my college experience? I’m getting stressed about that already!

18-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: We all grow and change. If we’re lucky, we learn as we grow. I’m glad you’re learning. Your insights on your high school experience will help you as you move forward.

You’re not alone. Many people spend their days worrying about what they don’t like about their lives, and only realize they’ve wasted opportunities to connect with others when the time passes. Perspective is important. As a young pediatric oncology nurse at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City, I cared for terminally ill children. Supporting those children and their parents through extremely difficult situations was an “Aha!” moment for me. I start each day with the realization that life is a gift not everyone receives. If you take time to help others, your anxiety about your own life often eases.

Taking one day at a time and living it to the best of our ability is an “old” piece of advice, but it stands the test of time. May I suggest you connect with your college’s counseling department before your anxiety becomes challenging? Establishing a bond with someone at school who can help you sort out your fears will set a foundation for your college career.

I turned to our Peer Educator alumni for their perspectives. I think you’ll find their words beneficial. They are close to your experience, having completed one or two years of college. Feel free to stay in touch with me, too. I’m always happy to hear about your progress. Good luck.

Peer Educator Alumni response : “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” If you’re moving away for school, finding a good group of friends who will motivate, protect and take care of you is important. Don’t get mixed in with the people who want to get drunk every night and not have real experiences in school. Show up! Time is money, and if you’re not using your time wisely investing in your education, then you’re only cheating yourself. You don’t want to graduate and have your only memories be you drunk at a party. Join clubs. Do study groups. Be happy sober.

Don’t forget to love yourself. You, at the end of the day, are the most important thing in your world. Your health, mentally and physically, always comes first, above all else. If you get a bad grade, remember the world is not ending. If you can’t get out of bed one day, lay there and take the time you need to get yourself together. Then, show up! Go out there and face the world. It’s your life and your future. You’ve got this.

First-semester depression is real for a lot of people. Everyone is lost and new to an entire world of people they’ve never been around and things they’ve never done. It can all be overwhelming. Ask for help! I know it’s difficult to speak up, but no one can read your mind and know you’re anxious. No one knows you need help unless you vocalize it, and most of the time people are happy to help you. Everyone has been in your shoes at one time or another. Take care of yourself, it’ll all be alright.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email at podmj@healthyteens.com.