Sep 10, 2018 3 min read

Preface: It might be a bit early in the season, but I’m going to get spooky. Think of this column as a pumpkin-spiced latte: It’s early, but you want it anyway.

I don’t like horror films. I am known, in certain circles, as a scaredy-cat. I did see the movie “Scream” because I was told it was a satire of the genre.

Side note: “Scream” is a satire of a horror film, but it is also … a horror film! I laughed and cried.

There’s a whole genre of movies I avoid. I do have a friend in the horror movie field (more on that later).

About two years ago, I was taking a plane from Los Angeles back to Pittsburgh. I was in the middle seat – an equally frightful setting! On one side, a young man was sound asleep in the window seat. A chatty young woman sat on the aisle. She was a makeup artist on her way to a horror convention in Atlanta.

Of course, I used this opportunity to name drop, like I do.

I said, “My friend Jeffrey is going to that. He wrote a successful horror film a while back.”

The young woman said, “Which one?”

I leaned in and whispered, “He wrote ‘Final Destination.'”

Picture it, I’m in midair – flying through the friendly skies – talking about a horror movie that begins with a plane crash! I scared myself with my own name dropping.

She laughed at my discomfort and said, “Jeffrey Reddick?”

I nodded. My friend is pretty famous in the horror community.

Second side note: Isn’t it weird that there’s a “horror community”?

But I digress, like I do. She wanted to talk about the movie. I did not. I just wanted to pull my interesting friend out of my pocket and parade him around the room like a prized pony. Jeffrey was my only connection to the horror industry, and I just played my card. Until I mentioned the name of his movie (which I have not seen in its entirety) I forgot about the opening.

I did not want to talk about a movie that had a famous plane crash scene while on an actual airplane. I’m funny that way. There was no need to open that can of bad luck.

I swiftly changed the subject. While I am not a fan of horror movies, I am a fan of horror movie makeup. It’s dichotomous, but what the heck. I got her to tell me stuff about stipple sponges and latex. My cousin Nicole studied movie makeup (and now works at the Scare House).

A short while later, the flight attendant rattled off a list of connecting flights. The young man in the window seat jolted up. He gathered his belongings and prepped for landing.

He announced, “I’m going to Pittsburgh.”

I said, “Me, too.”

He turned to the young woman and asked, “What is your final destination?”

Of course, she and I laughed and laughed.