Jul 2, 2019 3 min read

There’s nothing better than an ice-cold drink on a hot summer’s day, especially when you’ve been outside working and sweating. However, I have a habit of drinking too much cold water – and drinking it too fast – and getting ill. I know, I know. Who besides me can mess up taking a drink?

Last week, I spent several days working outside in the 90-degree heat, and on the way home one day, the folks I was with suggested getting an ice cream cone. I opted for a slushee instead and slurped it down far too quickly. I was immediately debilitated by the dreaded condition known as Brain Freeze, where sharp shooting pains stab me in the top of the head and behind my eyes. I couldn’t finish drinking the stinking thing, despite how delicious it was and how refreshingly cool it made my mouth feel.

The following day, I declined the repeat trip for ice cream, because as hot as I was, I knew I could never eat it slowly enough to prevent a duplication of the day prior.

It reminded me of a few years ago, when I had been out in the garden for several hours. I had been staking tomatoes, weeding between the peppers, and hoeing the onions, and it was hot.

I went to the house for something cold to drink, but all I could find was a beer. How the beer came to be in my refrigerator, I’m not sure. We neither one drink very often, and it has been years since either of us drank to excess. Still, I was incredibly thirsty, so I cracked the lid and took several long swallows. Almost instantly, I felt dizzy and had to sit down. A moment later, and I knew I was officially buzzed.

My husband came over to where I was sitting on the picnic table and asked if I was OK.

“I think I’m drunk,” I recall saying, incredulously.

“I think you are, too,” he laughed. “Your pupils are tiny!”

I don’t know if it’s possible, but it felt as though all my cells had been dehydrated from the heat and then reconstituted solely with alcohol. I had to sit at the picnic table for well over a half an hour before I was confident in my ability to stand, and I was pretty useless for the remainder of the day.

Last week, I recovered a little quicker from the slushee, only needing about five minutes before I could function again. (Pressing my thumb to the roof of my mouth helped with the slushee problem, but not that beer issue.)

I guess I will just stick to room-temperature water in the future. It might not cool me down as quickly perhaps, but at least I won’t be unable to function or be in pain from the process.

Laura Zoeller can be reached at zoeller5@verizon.net.