Jun 17, 2019 3 min read

Last weekend, I went down to Washington, D.C., with a group of friends. My friend Michael and I were sharing a room at the Wardman Park Marriott, which is a stately, venerable hotel right on the Metro line. It also has an outdoor pool (one of my requirements).

Side note: You’d think it’d be confusing putting both Michaels in the same room, but it wasn’t.

We were checking into our hotel when I noticed the woman in line in front of me had a baby carriage. I peered inside and saw a Yorkshire terrier instead of a baby.

Instead of saying, “Wow. What an ugly baby,” which is the exact thing you’re supposed to say when you are surprised to see a dog in a baby carriage, I looked around the cavernous lobby and noticed that the hotel was literally and figuratively crawling with many of our four-legged friends.

I said to the hotel clerk, “What’s with all the dogs?”

She said, “There’s a dog wedding here this weekend.”

I said, “Look at me pretending that’s a totally normal sentence that came out of your mouth.”

She repeated, “There’s a dog wedding here this weekend,” and added, “It was on the news this morning.”

I didn’t see the news. I was too busy riding to D.C. The other Michael drove (he has a Prius).

I said, “I hope they mentioned the hotel by name.”

She smiled and said, “They did!”

Remember it’s all about product placement. It’s why I always try to sneak in the title of my humor book, “Below Average Genius,” everywhere I go. I also follow up by saying, “It’s available on Amazon.”

But I digress, like I do. The clerk handed me the key card and said, “You’ll be on the fourth floor.”

I said, “Wait. Is there a non-dog floor? I’d prefer to be in a no barking zone.”

Side note: My neighbor’s dog barks all day and all night. It’s often made me wonder if dogs can get laryngitis. Like a trained opera singer, that puppy must be barking from her diaphragm.

The clerk took the key card from my hand and, with a few swift keystrokes on the computer, moved us to the seventh floor.

Soon, I learned that Bob and Betsey were getting married at the Wardman Park Marriott on Sunday, June 9. The wedding was a benefit for a sick pug named Pinky.

It turned out that the woman with the Yorkie designed the bridal gown and many of the outfits for the wedding. The event started with a fashion show. The wedding had food for the dogs and the fur-parents (AKA people) as well.

On Sunday morning, we ran into the groom, Bob. He was a black and white pug, who was probably only hours away from putting on his tux (he already had his tail).

I said, “Good luck today, Bob” and then turned back and said, “And good luck tonight. Wink. Wink.”

I’m not sure he got the joke.