Mar 5, 2020 5 min read

Note to parents and trusted adults: Children listen and hear. Adults guide young people to handle what frightens them. One of the reasons I write “The Nonnie Series” is to help adults talk about tough topics like death, birth, sex and consent. Be there for the children in your life. If you don’t ease their fears, they may have no adult to support them.

Q. I’m afraid of this coronavirus. My gram is 86 and I have two little cousins. One is 2 and the other one is only 3 months old. I love them all so much. I’m scared for them. I’m kind of afraid for me. Should I be? What should I do?

12-year-old

Mary Jo’s response: I loved your question. I love your love for your gram and your cousins. I love your concern for their health. Most of all, I love your courage in writing your question and sending it to me.

Fear is part of life.

Ask any grown up – it they’re honest, they’ll tell you they’ve been afraid at times in their lives, especially when they were young. Life can be scary. Sometimes, we can control a situation by making wise decisions, and sometimes, scary stuff just happens.

I believe what matters isn’t the fear we feel, but what we do when we’re afraid. Do we hide from life and the scary stuff, or do we face fear, seek help from trusted adults and deal with it?

You wrote to me and addressed your fear. I’m impressed. It seems you’ve decided to face your fear and try to learn more about it. That’s outstanding. I’m very proud of you.

The coronavirus is in the news right now. I want to share an important piece of wisdom. Facts matter. Find out the facts. Facts almost always help with fear and confusion. I’ll tell you what I know about this virus. I think knowledge will ease your fear.

Two kinds of infections that can make us sick are caused by viruses and bacteria.

Bacteria can be cured with antibiotics. When you were younger, did you ever have an ear infection or a sore throat? You probably received an antibiotic like penicillin.

When viruses make us sick, we cannot make them go away by taking antibiotics. We can treat symptoms – the things our bodies do to fight the infection. Symptoms can make us feel lousy. A common virus is the one that causes a cold. When you have a cold, your nose may be stuffy or runny, you may have a cough or sore throat, and you may develop a fever.

The coronavirus is a newly discovered virus. It causes a disease called COVID-19. Corona is the Latin word for ‘crown.’ If you look at the coronavirus under a microscope, the virus looks like a crown with spikes around it. The symptoms may be like the flu. An infected person may have a cough and a fever, and it may be hard for them to breathe.

Eighty percent of coronavirus cases are mild – which means it’s easy to get over feeling sick. Older people, and people whose immune systems aren’t working well, are more likely to have a difficult time with the virus. An immune system is the part of our bodies working to help us fight infection.

It’s true the coronavirus is contagious, meaning it spreads from one person to another, and a lot of people in other countries are sick. At this moment, the United States has a much smaller number of cases than China, where the first coronavirus was identified.

It’s important to know how the virus spreads.

It can spread from close contact with someone who has the virus; the Center for Disease Control says it is spread through droplets released when an infected person sneezes or coughs.

You ask what you can do. I have a few suggestions:

1. Talk with your trusted adults, like your gram or your parents. Share your fears. They can help you feel less afraid.

2. Wash your hands often. Wash them with soap for 20 seconds – about as long as it takes to sing happy birthday or the ABC song.

3. Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough by sneezing or coughing into your elbow.

4. Be very careful to wash your hands when you’ve been in a public bathroom or public area like a playground.

5. Help at home by cleaning surfaces like kitchen countertops and bathrooms with a good cleaning solution.

6. Try not to touch your nose and then your face and eyes.

Please remember – viruses can infect anyone. You can’t tell if a person is infected by race or ethnicity. Remember to look for facts. Talk about your fear with trusted adults. Try to stay calm. You can model courage and good hand washing in your family.

Peer educator response: Being afraid can make us feel funny. Some of us have many fears; others have none at all. In the situation of the coronavirus, fear is a scary voice in your head, saying you’re in danger. Try to think happy thoughts and battle fear. Don’t let fear win. Facts over fear.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.