Apr 14, 2021 4 min read

Q. I’ve talked with you about this in the past and I can always count on you listening and hearing me and helping. I’m writing now to ask you to use my words in your column.

I don’t understand why some people are so cruel.

I’ve seen people’s looks when my dad used food stamps and I sometimes wanted to tell them the why of our situation, but then I’d think, it’s not really anyone’s business. I once overheard someone in line make fun of him, telling him to “get off his fat ass and get a job.”

I know how those words hurt him.

My dad lost his job before COVID-19 and the pandemic made it hard for him to find a new one. He was recently hired at a decent paying job with benefits. I’m so proud of him.

What I want to write may seem arrogant. I don’t mean it to be, but here it is. People have ups and downs in life. How we react to another person’s ups and downs shows a lot about our character.

My younger brother is 8. I don’t know how to explain how happy he is now that he can buy treats and things he wants at the grocery store. We were never really hungry during hard times. My dad went to the food bank, planted a garden, worked odd jobs and our church helped out. For every kind person, though, there was a nasty one. Food insecurity is real and no child in America should live with it.

I started working at 16 and contribute my paycheck to my family. I don’t talk about our situation at school. My friends don’t know. Until now, you’re the only person I’ve shared with. I want to go to college to be a social worker and help families like mine.

Thank you for letting me vent publicly. I think I just wanted to put a face on poverty happening right here in our community.

17-year-old

Dr. Mary Jo’s Response: Your words are powerful. Thank you for offering them.

Your pride in your father is beautiful, as is your willingness to contribute to your family’s finances. I am thrilled things are better. You are a great role model for your younger sibling.

The most poignant part of your testimony deals with judgement. I was raised by two fine humans who instilled in me a passion for seeking worthiness in others. The stares and harsh words you describe aren’t OK. No one is perfect; fate can bring any person to a difficult time in life, and, as you eloquently wrote, it isn’t anyone’s business.

The harsh reality is you and your brother are not alone. In 2019, 14.4% of kids in this country, 10.46 million children, were living in poverty as measured by the official U.S poverty rate. Children’s Defense Fund states 1 in 6 young people under 18 live in poverty.

Food insecurity is real.

I’ve served many children and teens in similar situations. Too often people live in their own bubbles, unable or unwilling to see life from another’s perspective. The privilege to walk through a grocery store and select treats off the shelves is something many families take for granted.

I honor your dream to study and become a social worker. I hire outstanding social workers for our Teen Outreach. The skills needed to be a social worker are vital to communities. I wish you luck.

Your words not only touch my heart, they are a call to action. Families with the means to help should donate to organizations like food banks and churches that provide a safety net for those in need.

Thank you again for sharing.

Alumni Peer Educator: Ten years ago, my best meals were at the Teen Center. I was also able to casually pick up the kinds of snacks my family could not buy.

Like this writer, I told no one at school how I felt.

I will always remember how you discretely packed food for me to take home. I know you bought extra supplies so I could take them without losing pride. Thank you for empowering my worth when I was a teen. I will continue to send donations to the center. Food insecurity lasts into adulthood. My pantry now is always well stocked.

Adult who remembers.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.