Dec 6, 2021 3 min read

It’s December, and I’m not yet in that holiday frame of mind. What better time to test readers’ knowledge of current events than with a yuletide News Quiz? Let’s begin!

1. Seeking to drive a stake of holly through the hearts of any remaining Pittsburgh Pirates fans, the club traded Gold Glove-winning catcher Jacob Stallings – who is coming off the best year of his career – to the Miami Marlins for:

a) A pitcher and two other prospects.

b) Fresh catch-of-the-day from the Joe’s Stone Crab restaurant in Miami.

c) Three French hens, two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree (after the partridge passes a physical).

d) A life-size cardboard cutout of Yogi Berra.

e) Some magic beans.

2. In November, a once-popular singing group released its first album in 40 years. What group is it?

a) The Beatles

b) Johnny Puleo and the Harmonica Gang

c) John Philip Sousa

d) Crosby, Stills, Nash and That Other Guy Who Always Quits

e) ABBA

3. A spacewalk by two U.S. astronauts was rescheduled last week after being postponed due to possible danger from space debris. What was that debris?

a) A few billion $1 bills that leaked from Jeff Bezos’ Origin 1 spacecraft during its first suborbital flight in June

b) The shreds of the Pirates’ credibility as contenders

c) The remains of a Russian anti-satellite system test

d) Losing Pennsylvania Lottery tickets

e) Uncounted Trump ballots from the 2020 presidential election

4. After the collective bargaining agreement between players and owners expired on Dec. 1, Major League Baseball owners began the process of locking out players for the 2022 season. But another development threatened to overshadow this news. What was it?

a) No one expected the Pittsburgh Pirates to have a losing season.

b) Big League Chew – the official bubble gum of MLB – isn’t as good as Bazooka.

c) The league had secretly been using two different types of baseballs, including one that is lighter and meant to cut down on the number of home runs.

d) The Houston Astros hadn’t been stealing signs since the 2017 season. In fact, they had won them in an EBay auction.

e) MLB actually stands for “Mostly Lousy Ballplaying.”

5. The city of Christchurch, New Zealand, made news recently by removing someone from its official payroll after 20 years. Who was that person?

a) Ex-Pirates catcher Jacob Stallings

b) Ian Brackenbury Channell, aka “The Wizard of New Zealand,” after he made detrimental remarks about women and the government’s new tourist strategy during an interview

c) Filmmaker Sir Peter Jackson because his new “Get Back” documentary about the Beatles is being shown only on Disney+

d) Actor Russell Crowe because he already has a side career in a rock band

e) “New Zealand’s Mayor,” Rudy Giuliani

6) A traffic standstill on California’s Interstate 5 just before Thanksgiving was caused by:

a) Overflow traffic from the parking lot of the local Mad Mex restaurant as people lined up for takeout Gobbleritos.

b) Filming for a reboot of the TV show “CHiPS,” starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Daniel “007” Craig.

c) Motorists attempting to gather money that had fallen from the back of an armored car.

d) Millions of gallons of Mrs. Butterworth’s pancake syrup that had spilled from an overturned tanker.

e) Lighter baseballs that had floated out of Dodger Stadium and blocked the highway.