Dec 9, 2021 4 min read

I’ve been honored to spend a lifetime listening to young people.

The recent school shooting brought a flurry of spontaneous reactions from teens. I’ve facilitated formal discussions about school shootings twice.

The first time was right after Columbine on April 20, 1999. We had no Teen Center then, but so many of our peer educators were troubled so I held an open conversation at Washington Hospital. More than 40 teens attended. I was happy to provide an outlet for their concerns, but nothing was resolved.

After Sandy Hook on Dec. 14, 2012, our peer educators asked to hold a remembrance at our Teen Center and placed angels on our Christmas tree for each life lost. This was their idea, not mine.

The second facilitated discussion was a Let’s Talk I hosted at Washington & Jefferson College after Parkland on Feb. 14, 2018. The panel included 37 peer educators, who led more than 130 adults, in a conversation involving some of the best professionals in our community. While the conversation that evening was outstanding and I was incredibly proud of the teens who facilitated the small groups, we left without resolution. We did accomplish my goal of providing young people a safe space to talk.

I know lockdown drills are frightening. I ponder how much these drills affect our young people’s mental health.

Here are some words from young people on the reality of lockdowns:

“I know I’m supposed to run if told to run. But I cannot imagine running and leaving my friends or my teacher.”

11-year-old

“I grew up with these (lockdowns). I hate them. Some of my friends don’t take them seriously. I act all casual, like I think it’s a big joke, but deep down I’m terrified. I hate the thought that I need to prepare to be shot or to see my friends die. I bet my friends think I blow the drills off too. On the outside, I’m all blasé but on the inside, I’m a jumble of nerves.”

17-year-old

“I think – if I die, my mom will never get over it.”

13-year-old

“People say at my age I’m supposed to feel invincible. Maybe so. In other things, a little. Like, my gram is constantly on me about driving safely since I just got my license. I’m not afraid to drive even though I get how dangerous other drivers can be. When it comes to lockdown drills, though, I am the opposite of invincible. I am vulnerable. I am a 4-year-old kid inside.”

16-year-old

“I had a moment of pure cynicism after this last shooting. I mean, here I am writing college applications and figuring out funding and making plans. I couldn’t get those dead kids out of my mind. They went to school thinking they had their whole lives ahead of them. It’s too much to think about, you know?”

18-year-old

“I just want it to stop.”

12-year-old

Perhaps this comment from a 15-year-old, the day after Sandy Hook, sums it up.

“When I go to school, I mostly try to put it out of my mind. But sometimes I think about it too much. I look around my classroom and I wonder who might be killed if a shooter comes to our school,” the 15-year-old said. “I wonder if I’d be brave enough to stand between my friends and a gun. I wonder if I’d have the courage to protect my teacher. Mostly, I just pray I never need to find out.”

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.