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Struggling not to feel numb in wake of U.S. Capitol violence

4 min read

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Of all the many disheartening words spoken in reaction to the horrific events at the U.S. Capitol Wednesday, these struck me as the most sad.

“This is the only version of American politics I know,” a man in his 20s who is my co-worker posted on Facebook. “I’m not shocked anymore. I’m not upset anymore. I’m just numb.”

If I were the type to post replies on Facebook, I would have pushed back on that, making a case his generation will carry our democracy, fragile though it is, into the future, and they’ll fail us if they abdicate their power.

But I can’t say I blame him.

Those who cast their first votes for president in 2016, or last November, have known politics only as a rude and rancorous thing – more hurtful brawl than civilized debate. In my TV journalism work during the 2020 campaign, I interviewed many teens and 20-somethings. For every new voter who is energized by the public discourse of these dynamic times, there were a couple of others who said they turn away because they are repelled by the acrimony.

My daughter is a college student who voted for the first time in November. She made up her mind early on about who would get her vote for president, and then seemed to excuse herself from the flow of news about it.

“They all act so stupid,” she said one of the few times I opened discussion about the candidates. Like my co-worker, she’d grown numb to the battle. When the Capitol was under attack Wednesday afternoon, she texted to ask if I was watching.

“It makes me sad,” she said.

There was a time, in my bushy-tailed early years as a journalist, when I might have been energized covering this story. I stood on those steps during two inaugurations, taking notes I’d use in a live report later. There’s something about the huge, grand majesty of the Capitol building that inspires the thrilling feeling of being in the “middle” of everything. Front row to history, and all that.

I wondered if I would want to be there covering this bit of history. I don’t think so.

Watching it all unfold, as a citizen and not a reporter, I saw what the kids must see: politics and Washington, D.C., as a land of selfish, violent tantrums. Democracy as chaos.

How could millennials ever find a place in all that madness?

I wrote this Wednesday evening after Congress went back in session. The House and Senate floors have been swept clean of the angry mob and the smashed glass, and democracy is creeping quietly along again. I hope the kids are watching this, too, so that they can see that after all, the flag is still there.

“I’m glad I voted,” my daughter texted as she watched the storming of the Capitol. I told her she should never pass on her responsibility to vote, and then I told her she might someday want to run for political office. She said she doesn’t think so.

Why would she? Why would anyone?

If I were the type to post replies on Facebook, I would have told my co-worker that I don’t blame him for feeling numb about it all. But I also would tell him, as I told my daughter, that the ugly ranting at the doors of our democracy is not right, it’s not normal and it’s not the way things are supposed to go.

I’d tell the kids that instead of being numb, be angry – as we all are.

Beth Dolinar can be reached at cootiej@aol.com.

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