May 27, 2021 4 min read

Q. Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? I graduate high school soon and I’m beyond happy to be finished. I’m going to college. I’m excited. No offense, but I can’t wait to get out of this small town. I want to see life in a big city. I want to explore things I could never do here.

But … I’m also sad.

I know I will miss my classmates. Before you think I’m the type of student whose involved in lots of things at school, I’m not. I stick with a few friends. I don’t even know some of the kids in my senior class and hybrid didn’t make it easier to meet new people.

I’m OK with that, or at least I thought I was.

It hits me now. I think I’ll miss these people. We had a shared experience. I think I’ll miss my teachers too. If you had told ninth-grade me I would say this, I’d have laughed so hard.

I also feel a little guilty. Last year’s class didn’t get to do so many things my class was able to do. Like prom. And senior events. It wasn’t they’re fault.

My pap said I’m growing up if I have these thoughts – he’s the only person besides you I’ve told. Maybe he’s right. I sure am different from ninth grade. Thanks.

18 year old

Mary Jo’s Response: I think you’re pap is right. You are growing up. I know “ninth-grade you” was a person of worth. Worthiness is part of being. Maturing is a gift; it’s always good to reach high and become the person you are meant to be as an adult.

It is totally normal to be happy and sad simultaneously. Many people refer to this feeling as bittersweet. It’s a common human emotion, especially at this time of year.

Parents, guardians and grandparents experience bittersweet feelings at graduations. Their “babies” are young adults. Graduates move forward in life. No matter if their post-high school plans include joining the workforce, attending trade school or college, or enlisting in the military, there will be change. Parental pride is liberally mixed with memories.

You will not be alone on graduation day; many classmates will think similar thoughts. Treasure these moments. These memories are gems in a person’s life and will linger. Facing change can inspire excitement; it can also create anxiety.

The class of 2020 faced challenges. Your class did as well. No other graduating classes dealt with a worldwide pandemic. I’m proud of you. I’ve learned from both classes’ resilience and courage. I’ve been honored and humbled to be there when young people from both years needed someone to listen. You are uniquely prepared for life’s tough changes.

You might want to include friends from last year’s class in your graduation party or invite them to events. A school is a community. Respect those who came before you.

May your future be bright and your dreams lead you.

Peer Educator Response: As a graduate of the class of 2020, I thank you for your concern. For me, it’s been a great year. College made me realize the spring of 2020 made me stronger. Congratulations. Enjoy graduation. You’ve earned it!

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.