Aug 8, 2022 3 min read

Picture it: Washington, D.C., last Thursday. I stood in front of a crowd of romance writers, some professional authors with multiple book deals, others who were putting pen to paper for the very first time. Standing in front of these people (mostly women of various ethnicities) seemed like an unlikely location for this big, hairy goombah, but I was teaching a comedy workshop to the Romance Writers of America titled, “Putting the Com in RomCom; exploring the impact of humor from Jane Austen to Casey McQuiston.”

Side note: The workshop was an hour long, but it took up 10 minutes to get through the title. Next time I go to this conference, I’m finding a shorter name for my presentation. When I was rehearsing in front of a mirror, I stumbled every time – maybe because I was looking at such a stunningly handsome man when I said it. Hashtag sarcasm.

But I digress, like I do. I told them a few of my trade secrets. I thought I’d share one tip with you today.

I told them that a joke is a very, very short story with a surprise ending. Set up and punch. You drive a car in a straight line and then swerve!

I told them this true story:

“Recently, I joined Weight Watchers, and after two months, I’d lost 70 – dollars.”

If you didn’t laugh, it’s cool. I wanted to start with a one-liner, and I don’t have many one-liners. I am more of a storyteller.

If you’re wondering, “Recently I joined Weight Watchers, and after two months, I lost 70…” is the set up, and “dollars” is the punch. Straight line – then, swerve!

Comedy is born of frustration. The Weight Watchers joke is a perfect example. I stood on a scale at Weight Watchers and listened to a woman who was more disappointed about the number than I was. She let out a small sigh and “tsk-tsked.” Then, I bought like a box of Weight Watchers Breakfast Bars and ate all of them. They were 100 calories each, but you weren’t supposed to consume the entire box. My bad.

If you’ve been reading this column for some time, you already know that comedy comes from frustration. Half of these columns are about my petty grievances.

A fan – and I use the word loosely – came up to me and said, “You are angry all of the time.”

The opposite is true. I smile more than a ceramic Buddha. I do complain, but I put it on paper. If you’ve ever had a grocery list in your head, you’ve probably noticed that it will stay up there on a loop. “I need a loaf of Mancini’s, radishes and cherry yogurt.” Stuck on repeat, ad infinitum, until you write it down. Humor writing is the same. I blather on about being stuck in traffic, write it down and it’s out of my head.

I don’t retain anything, but water. Just ask the lady at Weight Watchers.