Aug 29, 2022 3 min read

Summer might be winding down, but there’s still time for ice cream. I guess that everyone has a favorite flavor. Growing up in New Brighton, mine was Hank’s Frozen Custard’s banana. Now that I’m older, however, my taste has matured. How about something with “just a hint of tobacco smoke?”

That’s what you’ll get with the Miller High Life Ice Cream Dive Bar, which premiered Aug. 15.

When I first read about Miller’s new confection, the look on my face was identical to the one I had when I heard that Elton John and Britney Spears were teaming up to redo “Tiny Dancer”: a mixture of dismay, shock, disgust and horror. But then I remembered that I once purchased beer-infused chocolate from a Seattle candy company. So I shouldn’t have been surprised by Dive Bars.

The IPA-infused treats in Moonstruck’s four-piece sampler were cute – shaped like the top of a beer bottle, including the cap. But the taste did nothing for me. I’m a sissy beer man: Nothing too hoppy, although I avoid the yellow-tinted bilge water that they call Coors Light.

To make Dive Bars, Miller partnered with Tipsy Scoop, a New York-based company that offers “boozy ice cream” flavors such as Mango Margarita Sorbet and Cake Batter Vodka Martini. Their products are pricey: a pack of four pints will set you back $56; a six-pack of Dive Bars costs $36.

Here’s the description of the Dive Bar from the Tipsy Scoop website:

“Each Ice Cream Dive Bar delivers a delicious combination of High Life-infused ice cream with dive-bar inspired mix-ins:

n Premium ice cream infused with High Life (that packs up to 5% ABV)

n Delicious peanut swirl bringing the saltiness of the quintessential dive bar snack

n A hint of tobacco smoke flavor reminiscent of that unforgettable dive bar scent

n Gooey caramel swirl to incorporate the distinct sticky dive bar floor feeling only the real ones know

n A fun sprinkle of carbonated candy to provide the iconic Champagne of Beers effervescence in every bite

n All dipped in dark chocolate to evoke the dark wood and dim lighting ambiance that all good dives share”

Chocolate dip, peanut and caramel swirls, I can understand. Even the carbonated candy makes sense. But they lost me at “tobacco smoke flavor.” Here’s why.

I have never smoked and am averse to the blue haze produced by burning tobacco. This is probably because I spent almost 20 years playing in dive bar bands when smoking was permitted. There was nothing appealing about coming home at 3 a.m. smelling like a week-old ashtray. I and most of my bandmates attempted to counter the smell by applying far too much cheap cologne. We wound up smelling like Smokey the Bear after he had walked through a department store offering free samples of Jade East.

But I’m a “live and let live” kinda guy. If you’re 21 or older and want to grab some Dive Bars, go right ahead. There’s one small problem, though. As of this writing, Dive Bars are sold out online, and Tipsy Scoop has only three brick-and-mortar locations, all in New York City.

You might walk a mile for a Camel, but are you willing to drive 370 miles for a Dive Bar?