Jul 14, 2022 4 min read

Q.Why is my body changing already? I know about puberty from reading stuff online. I’m only 11 and I started my period last week. Am I OK? – 11-year-old

Q.It feels like every other guy I know is going through puberty but me. Voices are changing all over the place and I still sound like a little kid. Worse than that, I’m so short, most of the girls are taller than me. What can I do to make my body grow faster? – 13-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: I’m answering your questions together because they both deal with growing up. First, let me reassure you. You’re both OK.

I started teaching classes about puberty in 1984 and I’ve written three books about it. One of my first students told me he wished bodies responded to our desires. He said, if only we had a button to regulate when we wanted puberty to start and how we wanted our bodies to move from childhood to adulthood! He imagined how it would feel if things like voice changes, height, periods, body hair, sperm development, and breast development or penis growth could be in our control!

Of course, if we had power to make all those physical changes happen as we wanted, I think our emotional changes would be even more complicated than they are now. What if a person had to decide when these pubertal changes would occur? I sense anxiety about making the right choices would be high.

The truth, obviously, is none of us can control how our bodies respond to the hormones that cause puberty. You’re not alone. Few people are content with the way their bodies change between ages 9 and 16.

Is it possible to start periods at 11? Yes, and the age of first menses (a name for periods) is younger now than ever before. The average age is 12 years, but any time between 10 and 15 is considered OK. There are two changes to watch for in guessing when a first period will begin: Underarm hair growth and stage 3 breast development (look up Tanner stages online). Typically, periods happen three to six months after those two signs, although everyone is unique. A weight close to 100 pounds often coincides with first menstruation (another name for periods) as well. Starting a period at 11 is perfectly normal.

Growth spurts (growing faster) are connected to genetics (the DNA code from our ancestors/relatives), nutrition, and health. Is it fair that everyone else’s voice seems to be changing and classmates are taller? No, not at all. Is there anything to be done to make your body grow faster? Sadly, no.

I send you support and hold space with you as you deal with puberty. The toughest growing up journey is the puberty of late developing males. The second most challenging is early developing females.

Please know you are both worthy, your bodies are wonderfully made and perfect for you, and you are not defined by where your puberty journey takes you. Find a trusted adult, show them this column, and start a conversation. There’s no reason to be embarrassed or feel shame. Puberty is simply part of life. You may feel as if you’re on an emotional roller-coaster, when feelings are big and often difficult to manage – this, too, can be normal.

My papa was fond of telling me, “This too shall pass.” He meant, everything in life passes, even the hard stuff. Please continue chatting with me. I’m here.

Peer Educator Response: It gets better, honest. Have faith in your bodies. You’ve got this.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.