Jul 18, 2022 4 min read

I can’t help but feel that the Pittsburgh Steelers missed a great opportunity by granting naming rights for the former Heinz Field to a Michigan-based financial services company called Acrisure. $150 million over a 10-year period? Geez! I would have let Art Rooney II put a Pittsburgh Steelers advertising wrap on my car for half that.

But I suppose that someone in the Steelers organization doing the vetting of prospective partners discovered that I drove my aging Honda Fit fewer than 5,000 miles last year. That’s not exactly “high visibility.” But for $75 million, I would have been willing to drive that sucker everywhere: away games, rib fests, church festivals, family cookouts; to the attempted overthrow of not just the U.S. government, but any government – Florida, Finleyville. And you gotta admit: “Dave Molter Stadium” has a nice ring to it.

Well, at least it has a better ring than Louisville’s KFC Yum! Center. That terrible, horrible, no good, very bad appellation identifies the official home of the University of Louisville men’s and women’s basketball programs. It’s also a multi-purpose facility that hosts rock concerts and, according to the center’s website, “corporate gatherings; breakfast/lunch meetings; mini-conferences; job fair; product showcases; and holiday parties.”

Bar mitzvahs. They forgot bar mitzvahs.

Look … I’m a realist. I know that advertising and company visibility are nothing new. I grew up in New Brighton, Pa., where Keystone Bakery, founded just down the Beaver River in West Bridgewater, Pa., in 1860, put its name on a clock on a hillside overlooking the bridge between New Brighton and Beaver Falls. “Time to Buy Keystone Bread,” the illuminated sign stated. The clock was shaped like a keystone. Smart advertising. My family bought Keystone Bread. In fact, we built a garage out of half-price day-old loaves.

But Acrisure Stadium? Ye gods!

Well, at least the Rooneys didn’t contract with the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. When aliens finally arrive here and stand astride the rubble of Western Pennsylvania, the sheer multitude of medical center signs still standing will convince them that the planet was called UPMC. Whew! A bullet dodged.

Acrisure Stadium? Why not a name associated with Pittsburgh businesses? 84 Lumber Stadium. Primanti’s Sammich Stadium. Gi’nt Iggle Stadium.

Or how ’bout honoring Pittsburgh rock bands that achieved national fame? Skyliners Stadium. Donnie Iris Park. Houserockers Field. And wouldn’t naming the field after Steelers heroes be appropriate? Steel Curtain Playhouse. Or, simply, Rooney Field.

But I get it. Show me the money.

In a statement announcing the naming rights, Steelers President Art Rooney II didn’t mention money outright, but it was in the subtext: “Acrisure provided us with an opportunity to ensure our stadium continues to be a valuable asset for our fans as well as keeping up with the market value of NFL stadiums.”

Market value? Sure, someday, the Rooneys might sell. But “a valuable asset for our fans?” Can they take out a mortgage against it? No. But, like KFC Yum! Center, they can use it for a price.

From the new Acrisure Stadium website:

“Whether you are hoping to impress high-powered clients, venture outside of the usual hotel ballroom experience or give your guest a glimpse inside the home of the Pittsburgh Steelers and University of Pittsburgh Panthers, this is the venue for you! From the privacy of the Press Box to the expansiveness of the FedEx Great Hall, our seven rental spaces can accommodate every need. By combining our highly adaptable spaces, stellar customer service and unique amenities, creating memorable experiences is our specialty. We excel in: Corporate Events & Symposiums; Weddings; Galas & Fundraisers; Trade Shows; Virtual Meetings; and much more!”

Bar mitzvahs. They forgot bar mitzvahs.