May 15, 2023 3 min read

I can fall asleep anywhere. It’s not some uncanny ability. It’s not a mutant superpower. No, I just stay busy until I fall over.

Once, I fell asleep during the movie, “Dunkirk.” As the Luftwaffe was strafing the French countryside, I was snoring. Guess who was louder than the Dolby Sound System?

Don’t tell my niece, Chloe. She’s a huge Francophile and a big fan of Harry Styles (who’s in the film).

Side note: Harry Styles sounds like the perfect name for a dog groomer. There has to be a pet salon called Hairy Styles out there.

But I digress, like I do. There’s a back story to the day I took an expensive nap – with popcorn in my lap – during a very, very loud, epic war movie.

Fun fact: Roughly 30 Dunkirk survivors, in their mid-90s, attended the premiere in London. When asked about the movie, they all felt the film accurately captured the event, but they complained that the soundtrack was louder than the actual bombardment.

In my defense, I was able to snooze through a movie that was louder than the actual war, because I had spent the day at Ocean Breeze Water Park, sliding down water tubes, jumping in the wave pool and floating down a lazy river in an inner tube. I ran around like a 13-year-old, but I am – um – significantly older than 13.

The sun was – literally and figuratively – blistering that day. By the time we left the water park, my scalp was the color of a tomato.

When we arrived at the cineplex, my nose was peeling like a king cobra. I felt like I could have pulled off my face, like one of Ethan Hunt’s disguises in “Mission: Impossible.” Unfortunately, Tom Cruise’s face wasn’t hiding under my face. It was just more of my face, a fresh layer, but my face, nonetheless.

A full day of running, jumping and splashing around in the white-hot sunshine, took a heavy toll.

The sleep monster claimed me mid-movie. I had spent the day with a friend, who was also nodding off between battle scenes. We kept nudging each other awake.

It didn’t help that we were fully reclined, in those plush, upgraded movie seats.

When I woke up, I asked, “How did it end?”

He said, “It was World War II, don’t you know how it ended? The fact that you asked me the question in English is a big clue.”

My friend was also a wise guy.

I also fell asleep to “Solo: A Star Wars Story” for the same reason. But, in my defense, it was just another boy meets Wookiee story.

This column is a gentle reminder that summer is around the corner. I hope it’s filled with plenty of outdoor activities and lots of fun summer blockbusters.

Pace yourself.

Get a nap in between beach volleyball and the next Marvel movie. Ride the waves but stay awake for “The Fast and the Furious Twenty-Seven” or whatever.

Be sure to wear sunblock!