Oct 5, 2023 3 min read

Q. Will you write about getting a dog in your column? My mom reads it all the time and she even makes me read it sometimes. I’ve been wanting a dog for years and every time I ask for one, I get told no. Why, I ask. Then I’m told I am too immature to care for a dog. How do they know? Has anyone ever tried me?

– 12-year-old

Q. Do you think a fish is the same as a dog for a pet? I asked for a dog, and they gave me a fish and said see if you can keep this alive. Well, I did. It’s been a whole year and this dumb fish is still alive and I see no dog. You can’t pet a fish.

– 12-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: I’m responding to your questions together because they are so similar. In both your situations, your desire for a dog is denied.

In the first question, you wisely ask how maturity can be proven. In the second question, a parent created a scenario to demonstrate your ability to care for a dog by giving you a less challenging pet – a fish. Both of you want your desire for a dog recognized.

Getting a pet is a big decision. I believe parents should not give a quick yes or no response to this request but recommend a conversation where the pros and cons of getting a dog are discussed.

Both of you need to find out if your families can support a dog. Dogs are living beings with character and needs. You can’t hide them in a basket or stuff them in a closet. They require care – food and water, affection and time, exercise and health care. These things are costly and require adult commitment. Have you asked your parents why they hesitate? Do you have the time to care for a dog? Are you ready to put in the effort it takes to train a pet? Can you show your maturity in other areas, like helping with chores and doing homework without being told?

Growing up with a dog can provide very positive effects for children. You are both old enough to take on responsibility and owning a dog would teach you the consequences of failure to commit. The bond between children and their dogs can be very strong. Living with a dog helps children develop psychomotor skills and independence. A dog can teach a child to be other-directed and altruistic, which simply means the dog’s needs become important and the child becomes less self-centered.

While learning responsibility by caring for any living being, like a fish, is a positive life skill, I agree with the second questioner. I love fish, but there are definite advantages to living with a dog. With care and commitment, a dog can become a beloved member of a family.

Talk with your parents. Show them this column. Ask them if your family is ready for a dog financially. Sincerely promise you will take responsibility for the animal. Acknowledge the contribution your parents will need to make. Be respectful. Good luck.

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.