Jan 15, 2024 3 min read

When I carried my lunch to work, a favorite item was microwavable soup sold under the brand name “Meal in a Minute.” It was simple to make: just remove the metal seal, replace the vented plastic cap and pop the container into the oven. Ninety seconds later, the soup was ready.

Did you spot the problem in the paragraph above? My “Meal in a Minute” took 90 seconds to cook. Back then, I found this discrepancy merely amusing, probably the product of a public relations brainstorming session that contained more storm than brain. Some 30 years later, however, I see that I missed my chance to become independently wealthy: I could have sued the manufacturer for misrepresenting its product.

That’s just what Florida resident Cynthia Kelly did in filing a $5 million class action lawsuit against the Hershey Co., manufacturer of Reese’s candy products, at the end of last year. In the suit, Kelly contends that the Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins she purchased for Halloween didn’t match the picture on the product’s wrapper. Kelly claims that she bought Reese’s “cute” product because the wrapper depicted a smiling jack-o-lantern face carved from the candy’s chocolate covering. But when Kelly opened the package and found that the candy had no such cute face, she felt deceived. Had she known that the candy was faceless, the suit says, she would not have bought it.

Kelly’s lawsuit cites multiple YouTube videos in which purchasers of various Reese’s products — including chocolate-covered bats, ghosts and footballs — complain that the packaging of the products is deceptive. Bats and ghosts, for example, have no faces, and footballs have no laces, although, on the wrappers, they are depicted as having them.

Taco Bell, Wendy’s, McDonald’s, Burger King and Arby’s all have been targeted recently by lawsuits claiming that in advertising videos and pictures, their fast-food items look plump, juicy and mouth-watering. But pictures included in court filings show that the actual food can be flat, dry and decidedly mouth-puckering. Oh, the humanity!

Such is the sad state of the world today. Time was that if we felt ripped off by a manufacturer or business, we’d return the product and tell a neighbor about it over the backyard fence. But now we go global. We make videos that we hope will attract millions of views from people we don’t know and who don’t know us — and who, in the final analysis, really couldn’t care less that your candy disappointed you. But they’ll join your lawsuit.

Skimpy fast food. Candy without faces or laces. Starbucks Mango Dragonfruit and Mango Dragonfruit Lemonade Refreshers that contain no mango. My friends, this stinking world will chew you up and spit you out like a faceless peanut butter cup. But don’t sue.

Deal with it. Just as I did after I discovered that Three Musketeers bars don’t contain actual pieces of swashbuckling French soldiers.

Switch to Snickers.