Mar 21, 2024 By Katherine Mansfield 6 min read

When TMZ on Monday released a blurry video of a spritely Kate Middleton and her husband, Prince William, enjoying an afternoon at the local farm shops over the weekend, it seemed The Case of the Disappearing Duchess had been solved.

But some eagle-eyed internet Sherlocks, the ones who spotted Photoshopping in an official royal photograph earlier this month and have stitched together a timeline of the royal couple’s daily movements since December, say the case isn’t closed.

If you’ve not tripped down the rabbit hole of “Kate Gate,” here’s the Sparknotes version of The Missing Middleton: Duchess Catherine was last seen publicly, for sure, for sure, Christmas Day, on the family’s walk from Sandringham to St. Mary Magdalene Church. Between then and now, video of a royal convoy headed from Sandringham to King Edward VII’s Hospital Dec. 28 was posted to X (formerly Twitter); Kensington Palace (KP) confirmed Middleton was admitted to London Clinic for planned surgery; an official royal photograph of the duchess and her children was proven to be Photoshopped; media outlets globally killed the image; a Spanish journalist’s reports that Middleton had been put into a medically induced coma gained mainstream attention; the palace uncharacteristically went on record three times to refute reports of the duchess’ health; Middleton’s staffers said they knew nothing of the planned surgery and haven’t seen her in weeks; and conspiracy theories that Middleton is dead gained traction online.

Basically, Kate Middleton, the woman who appeared glamorous and in high heels just hours after giving birth to her oldest son, George, has become increasingly meme-able and more noticeably absent from the media and tabloids by the day.

For decades, the duchess has lived in the royal limelight. She’s been on display for so long, the world feels entitled to daily updates on her life and photographic evidence of her whereabouts. When her whereabouts were presumably confirmed by that tabloid video earlier this week, the internet went wild, claiming the woman in frame was “too thin” to be Kate, nevermind the 42-year-old duchess recently underwent surgery that, no matter how planned, was brutal enough to keep her out of commission for months. “Like a cheap soap opera changing an actor mid-season,” one X user commented on the clip.

Middleton isn’t the first disappearing royal whose reemergence sparked legitimacy debates.

According to Bram Stoker, of “Dracula” fame, Queen Elizabeth I was the Virgin Queen not because she swore off men, but because she was one.

During her childhood, a plague broke out in the city, and Princess Elizabeth was sent to Bisley to escape illness. That’s true. Stoker’s conspiracy begins with the supposed death of the princess just days before her father King Henry VIII was scheduled to visit. Unable to secure a female body double, Elizabeth’s governess, it’s alleged, asked a young boy about her age and build to play the princess. The ruse worked so well that the secret was confined to the boy’s small town and he ascended to the throne.

Princess Elizabeth’s palace tutor once wrote, “she is endued with a masculine power of application.” Gasp! In a letter to a friend, Count de Feria said, “If my spies do not lie, which I believe they do not, for a certain reason which they have recently given me, I understand she will not bear children.” Certain reason?! What could that reason be?! Apparently Queen Elizabeth herself admitted to being a man during a rousing speech to the troops, before a battle against the Spanish Armada, when the ruler declared, “I know I have the body of a weak, feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England, too.”

What of rumors of Queen Elizabeth I’s numerous affairs? Good PR – which Duchess Catherine is currently, it appears, lacking.

Another royal with good PR: Richard, Duke of Gloucester. Upon the death of King Edward IV, his son was poised to wear the crown. But the 12-year-old prince’s guardian, that Duke Richard, pushed back the coronation date. While he waited to ascend to the throne, the would-be King Edward V and his younger brother, Richard of Shrewsbury, were put up in the Tower of London – not the greatest place to be, but in all fairness to the Duke, future kings did stay in the Tower before their coronation.

While King Edward V and his brother lived in the Tower, Duke Richard had the boys deemed illegitimate, and made a name for himself: King Richard III. The two young boys, no longer heirs to the throne, moved to the Tower of London’s inner residences. They played outdoors, but appeared less and less often, until one day, they simply were never seen again. Rumors of their death – murder, at the hands of Richard III! – were widespread even then, but to this day remain unconfirmed. In 1674, laborers discovered bones in the Tower of London, but the Crown has never consented to test the bones’ DNA.

Whether or not that DNA belongs to the would-be king, we may never know. Whether or not the woman in TMZ’s video of Kate and William really is the Duchess of Cambridge, well. It’s been said that the simplest solution is often the right one and one can’t help sympathize with Kate Middleton if, having undergone a grueling surgery and recovery, she Agatha Christied herself to escape the harsh glare of cameras. Perhaps she, like so many with fewer followers do, is social media detoxing, blissfully unaware the public is worried she’s been killed and cloned and a Fake Kate is quietly replacing Real Kate, or insert-your-theory-here.

Some conspiracy theorists will never believe TMZ Video Princess Kate is really Kate Middleton. Maybe we’ll never truly be able to tell, especially as AI advances and deepfakes become harder and harder to distinguish from really reals. (That’s a column for a different day.) Does it matter, if there is a body to fill the role? Based upon the amount of coverage Kate Gate continues to receive, I think, despite how insane this world often feels, the fact that our society is more concerned about the individual in a role than having a body to fill that role speaks volumes; we’re still in an OK place.

So, while the internet runs rampant in conspiracy I, for one, will continue enjoying the Kate Gate memes and hope that the Duchess who stepped out over the weekend is the real Kate Middleton.

Katherine Mansfield is a staff writer for the Observer-Reporter. She can be reached at mansfield@observer-reporter.com/.