Mar 14, 2024 4 min read

Q. I feel like giving up. I was watching the Academy Awards with my family. I love theater, even though I’ve never had a chance to perform. I know all the songs to “Wicked” and “Hamilton,” and that’s only two of the musicals I love. I read screenplays. I love Shakespeare. My family knows my dream is to be in the movies or on Broadway. So, I’m watching the Oscars, and my older brother says, “Stop daydreaming. You’ll never make it that far. You need talent to get an Oscar and you don’t have any.” I know he’s a jerk. What demoralized me was the rest of my family. My dad laughed. My sister was on her phone and didn’t seem to notice. My mom didn’t say a word, and I know she heard him because I saw the look on her face. I felt like they were all staring at me. I didn’t leave because we only have one TV, and I wasn’t missing my favorite night of the year. After the Awards ended, as I was going to bed, I heard my mom mumble, “It’s better if he doesn’t get his hopes up.” So, my family thinks I’m not talented. Why should I even try? – 14-year-old

Mary Jo’s Response: You don’t try for your family; you try for you. Your dreams are yours. You are worthy of your dreams. Reach for them.

People who succeed in theater and movies have many qualities. Talent is one of them, but not the only one. Commitment, resilience, determination, courage, hard work – all these things are part of success in any endeavor. You will need communication and interpersonal skills. Do not judge your talent by your brother’s disdain. He doesn’t know how much this means to you.

I believe there’s another factor to consider – tenacity, the ability to set goals and stick to them. Malcolm Galdwell wrote the book “Outliers” in 2008. He theorizes that to be elite and truly experienced in a craft, you must practice. Galdwell wrote that “ten thousand hours is the magic number of greatness.” Simply put, any successful person devotes time to their dream.

How can you start following your dream? Look around you. Does your school have a theater department? Get involved. Volunteer for stage crew. When you feel ready, audition for a part in a production. Keep trying. Connect with English teachers at school and share your love of plays and Shakespeare. Get to know other teens with a similar passion. Read. Your school and local library are full of treasure. Keep reading those screenplays, and study books on the art of acting. Does your community have a local theater? Volunteer. Are there online acting classes you can attend or online teen chat groups for theater groupies? I’m positive you’re not alone in your devotion to plays like “Wicked” and “Hamilton.” Connect.

Having a supportive family would help, especially if you need transportation. Talk with your mom. She appears worried about failure and may want to protect you. Explain how much this means to you. Share that you’re not afraid of hard work. Tell her never trying to follow your dream would be worse than failing.

If your family doesn’t seem inclined to help, or even if they hinder you, remember you are a person of great worth. Your dreams matter. You matter. Find a mentor – a teacher, an older teen – with theater experience and ask for support. You can do this! You have one life – make it count! I hope you make it to the Academy Awards stage some day!

Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.