Feb 22, 2013 3 min read

Q. I always felt that my mother and I were inseparable. I never thought I would be blessed to marry a wonderful man and that it would damage our relationship, but it did.

My mom has had a great influence on my life for 32 years, but this had to end. She only developed a problem with my then-boyfriend when she saw that it was serious. She tried everything to break us up, including having him investigated. She told me he was “no good.” I chose to pray and follow my heart and not listen to her. I’m happy I did. I couldn’t ask for a better husband.

Mom did not come to my wedding and refuses to come to my house, saying I chose a man over her. But, Annie, I cannot allow her to continue to be so disrespectful of my husband. Please tell your readers that trying to control your children will only push them away and create resentment. My mom centered her life around me and now feels lost.

I’m still struggling to adjust to not having her in my life, but I refuse to leave my husband to make her happy. I have made great choices. I completed graduate school and have a terrific career. Many mothers would love to have a daughter and son-in-law like us. Is there anything I can do? – Missing My Mother but Loving My Husband

A. Your mother’s jealousy has clouded her thinking, and instead of a close, warm relationship with you, your husband and your future children, she has isolated herself in bitterness. We hope you will give her the opportunity to get past this, although it may take time and a good deal of forgiveness on your part. Continue to periodically reach out to her, inviting her to your home with the understanding that she must treat your husband with decency.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Midwest Cook,” who can’t believe that children are truly picky eaters. She says the fault lies with permissive parents.

My husband and I followed a similar tactic for years with our four children. They either ate what we cooked, or they went without. The result was often bitter frustration for everyone involved. In spite of that, two of our now-adult children are still genuinely picky eaters. Please don’t assume parents aren’t doing their jobs. — Frustrated Cook

Dear Frustrated: You are right that some kids never outgrow their aversion to certain foods, but we hope parents will encourage more adventurous eating habits.

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